


Startling Developments

by DoctorGiratina



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Choices, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-12 22:51:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3358259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorGiratina/pseuds/DoctorGiratina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tags will most certainly change throughout. Characters will be added as I go. I just felt like making a long term reader insert fic that might actually be interesting to read... Unlike my other fic. Sorry this is a terrible summary but that's literally what this fic will be. Will be written for female reader btw.<br/>But in all seriousness it will probably be something along the lines of...<br/>Reader enters the military and has a bunch of adventures, and may die in the end. Idk. We shall see how it goes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Currently rated teen and up for possible, or more likely assured, swearing. Not sure where this fic will go. Just sort of wingin it. Hope you guys like it I guess xD

You wake up one morning, _at least you think it's morning,_ startled and sweating. You roll over and look out the window trying to guess how early your nightmares have awoken you this time. You see the moon still high in the sky and slightly obscured by light grey clouds. Unable to fall back asleep just yet, you get up and walk to the window. Sighing deeply, you wonder what chain of events could possibly convince you to enter the military, since you are not usually a very confident, or even brave, person. You stretch your limbs as you stare at the sky, hearing a few of your joints snap into place. You look around the room to look at all of the fellow trainees you will be with, at least until graduation.  _If they don't give up or die during training,_ you think. They all appear to still be sleeping so you turn your attention back to the sky and trace a few constellations that you can make out among the stars.

An hour later, you still aren't tired. Or perhaps you are too afraid of the nightmares to return to sleep. Either way, you silently work your way back to your bed and force yourself to sleep, hopefully until the real morning comes...

 

 

 _This is just a dream_ you tell yourself as the all too familiar scene appears in front of you. How long had you been asleep for before it took hold again? You have no idea, but you vaguely remember some sort of much more pleasant dream occurring prior to the nightmares manifestation.

You stood on top of wall Maria, looking down at what seemed to be absolutely nothing. Behind you stood a few soldiers from the Garrison who paid no attention to you. You felt an overwhelming urge to jump into the nothingness to see what was at the bottom but were to afraid to find out. You saw a hand reach up out of the shadows and grasp at the wall just below where you were standing. _That's not right... This wall is supposed to be 50 meters tall..._ You thought as you struggled to remember that is was just a dream.

You felt someone push you off of the wall. You fell helplessly into the abyss. A mouth opened up below you and you found yourself immediately surrounded by intense heat. You had fallen directly into a titans open mouth. The dream seemed to slow down and continue in a very slow pace as the titans mouth closed on your legs. You had forgotten that it was just a dream and began to sweat in your sleep, completely terrified of what was currently happening. The titan didn't chew your torso and swallowed your now leg less form. You splashed into it's blood-filled belly and began to feel as though you were boiling to death. You flailed your arms, trying to keep your head above the blood as your vision began to go black around the edges.

Your head slipped under and you chocked on blood. _This is it._  You thought.  _I'm going to die right now. I will never know what's out there and I will never understand why it frightens me..._

Wait. What was that last part?

 

 

You woke up quickly. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and looked outside. You saw the sun just beginning to finally rise and decided that now would be a good time to get ready for 3DMG training that was supposed to start today. You couldn't remember your dream, so you chose to forget about it and just move on.

 

By the time you had finished getting ready, a few of the other trainees had also awoken and begun to get ready. A short blonde girl kept glancing over at you as if she felt bad for you. Or perhaps she kept looking at you because you were the oldest looking trainee there. Most of the other recruits were in the teen years whereas you had waited until you were 23 to finally join. Possibly due to your lack of confidence that you weren't actually sure you had slipped away from. She glanced at you again. You thought back to your first day and tried desperately to remember her name. What was it? You simply couldn't recall. You decided to ask her at breakfast since she seemed to be almost infatuated by you.

 

 The breakfast rations looked terrible, but they actually didn't taste all that bad. You decided to sit with the little blonde girl but busied yourself with eating instead of actually gathering the courage to speak to her. She seemed to respect your silence and also made no effort to break it. You were almost half finished your food when you finally decided to speak up.

"I'm sorry... I'm terrible with names. What was your name again?" You sheepishly asked her.

She stopped what she was doing and smiled at you. "I'm Krista." She responded before pausing. She strained to remember your name. You were about to tell her your name but she seemed to suddenly remember it and said, "You're [name], right?" She asked.

"Yup. That's me," you responded, doing your best to smile back as brightly as possible. You somewhat liked your new acquaintance and hoped you could become friends but somehow doubted it would work out after graduation.

Speaking of graduation... You had no clue which regiment you wanted to join. A large part of you wanted to be in the Military Police so that you could stay alive as long as possible, but deep down you felt the desire to go outside the walls and truly live as a member of the Survey Corps. The drive to survive kept drowning out the little voice telling you to go outside the walls, however and you partially doubted that you could place in the top ten to even qualify for the MPs so you had resigned yourself to aiming for the Garrison Regiment.

_Garrison Regiment._

The words flopped in your mind and you felt a mild wash of panic as you thought them. Why did the words make you feel this way when the Survey Corps didn't? How was it possible that the safer of the two could make you feel more afraid? Nothing made sense. You didn't have much time to think why, however, because it was then that you were all summoned for training.

 

 

You were quite sore after the full day of posture control training since your muscles were simply not used to the strain you were putting on them. You saw Krista and decided to go chat with your acquaintance and see how she did with her first day of training.

"Krista!" You called. The small girl stopped and turned to you smiling, almost sadly at you.

"Hey, [name]! Good to see you didn't quit or get kicked out yet." She said.

"Heh, ya same to you. That sure was a workout though..." You said while absentmindedly massaging your muscles out.

"You can say that again." She agreed. She paused before asking you, "do you mind if I ask you something? Please, don't feel the need to tell me the answer if you don't want to..." 

"Sure." You replied, somewhat curios about what she wanted to ask.

"What were you dreaming about last night?" She asked, concern in her eyes.

"I don't honestly remember..." You replied, truthfully. "Actually, it happens almost every night. I know they're nightmares but I can't remember a single detail when I wake up."

"That's awful..." she responded. "Where did you come from again?"

"I came from a village just a little bit north of Shiganshina district. I saw the steam from the Titan who apparently broke the wall. That's about all I saw though. We evacuated almost immediately. I don't know if my older brother made it." You had a brother? Why were you just remembering now? Not only that, but why couldn't you remember his name all of a sudden?

Krista smiled at you compassionately. "I sometimes have nightmares too..." She responded, clearly distant at the moment. "I actually had one last night too. I saw you looking at the moon. I wanted to join you but I was afraid I might startle you." She giggled.

"I suppose we should head to the mess hall for some food." You responded, giggling with Krista for a moment.

"You're probably right." She said as her stomach growled.

You both laughed at that and made your way to the mess hall feeling much better after talking.

 

You had just returned to your bunk and gotten ready for bed when Krista sat down on the bunk right next to yours.

"Has anyone claimed this bunk yet?" She asked.

Dumbfounded, you responded that no, no one had claimed it yet. Krista surprised you by setting her stuff up and claiming it herself. Krista just grinned at you and continued to set up when she noticed your reaction. "Whatcha doing?" You asked her.

"What do you mean? We're friends aren't we?"

 _Friends..._ You thought.  _I have a friend here._  You smiled at her, "Ya I guess we are!" You proceeded to get ready for bed as Krista continued to get herself ready.

 

 

The scene was different this time. You peered over the edge of the wall and saw grass at the bottom that covered as far as you could see. There were horses trotting towards the wall in the distance. You saw the piles of recovered bodies they were towing.

 _This is what happens when you leave the wall._ You watched as they passed through the gate below you.

The scene changed as they passed by. The dark abyss returned behind them. This time, in the abyss you saw glowing dots everywhere. A pair of glowing dots got closer and closer to you before they revealed themselves as eyes. The gross giant reached out slowly. You couldn't move so you watched as it's giant hand got closer to you. It's fingers were now around you. They were slowly closing around you. If you didn't move now, it could crush you or grab you and eat you. You had to move.

The titan's hand closed around you tightly. You couldn't move now even if you tried due to it's crushing strength. It continued to add pressure. You felt you bones becoming more and compressed. You felt your arms snap and cried out in pain. The pressure continued to build and you felt your shoulders begin to snap as well as a few of your ribs. A sharp pain overcame you when you took your next breath. You thought that your lung had most likely been punctured by one of your ribs. The edges of your vision went black as you choked on the fluid that was now entering your punctured lungs. You vision continued to fade and your last thought was  _Why didn't I join the scouts..._

 _Huh? But aren't the scouts more dangerous?_ you were confused but didn't have time to think about it more as you died in the titan's grip.

 

 

You sat up in your bed very quickly, drenched in sweat again. You hopped out of bed and went to the window again to look at the sky. The faint grey clouds had become darker as they grew thicker. It would rain soon and you almost couldn't wait for it.

"[name]?" You heard someone whisper behind you. You turned around to see Krista walking over to you while rubbing her eyes from sleep.

"Krista, go back to sleep. You need the rest to make it through training successfully." You replied.

Krista ignored you and took her place next to you looking out the window. The clouds were starting to shift out of the moons way and it's pale light began to illuminate the landscape. Krista seemed absorbed in the sight of the land bathed in moonlight but eventually she broke the silence by asking you a question.

"[name], what are you afraid of?"

You stared at the girl and tried to think of a way to answer her. You didn't really know what scared you and you responded by saying just that. She didn't seem content with that answer, however, and pushed further.

"You must be afraid of something." She pressed on.

You don't know what made you finally realize it, but you found out what your fear truly was. "I... I'm afraid of dying in these walls and not being able to find out what's truly out there. I'm afraid of the unknown and I want to banish that fear. But... I want to live a long life so I'm afraid to leave the safety of the walls." You told her. You surprised yourself with how true that actually was. It's like something inside you clicked a little and everything began to make a little bit more sense as you talked to the blonde.

Feeling much better, you decided to return to bed. Krista followed you and you both went back to sleep.

After your discussion with Krista, you had your first ever dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I love how this chapter turned out so much. I love the fact that I managed to bring in a canon character in the first chapter. Honestly when I began this, I ought it would end up being just a bunch of stuff about the readers struggles but I honestly love where this went. Please do leave a comment telling me what you thought. I'd love the feedback :)
> 
> Edit: I honestly had no idea there were so many terrible errors in this chapter! I'm so sorry to all of you who have read the unedited version.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots happens in this chapter but most of it is just a quick summary of some of the things that happened in training in the manga. So, spoilers. Enjoy

The next day of training had concluded with a few saddened trainees being sent to the fields after their failure with posture control training. You had heard about a teenage boy who had actually managed to do his posture control training with broken equipment. What was his name? You decided to ask Krista about him at supper since you couldn't remember his name no matter how hard you tried. You wanted to congratulate him on his impressive feat after all.

 

You sat down next to Krista and took a few bites before asking her about the boy. "Say, Krista, you wouldn't happen to know that boys name... You know the one who managed to maintain his posture with the broken equipment?"

"His name is Eren Jäger. He came from inside Shiganshina. His mother died during the attack actually. It's somewhat impressive that he has gotten so far in training actually." Krista explained.

 "Ya you're right." You agreed. You both chatted as you finished your supper. 

 

Eventually it was finally time for all of the trainees to go to bed. You didn't pay much attention to what happened during supper but you had heard little snippets of things regarding that Eren kid fighting with some guy named Jean. You decided to ignore the drama and focus on training. You also had to focus if you wanted to ward away the nightmares. About an hour later, it was time for lights out and you curled up ready to sleep.

 

You found yourself standing on the wall, as always. This time, however, your friend Krista was with you. She stood next to you as you peered over the edge. Dream Krista peered over the edge as well, trying to see what it was that you were looking at. Over the edge, you saw titans. Just like you always did. You looked to Krista and saw she had a green cape on with the wings of freedom on it. She joined the scouting legion? No. This was a dream. Dream Krista had joined the scouts. It didn't mean real Krista had. So what regiment did your dream self belong to? Where you in the Garrison after all? You wondered if you could ask your dream friend.

"Krista." You said. Your voice sounded strange in the dream. Much more chocked out sounding. You cleared you throat and tried again. "Krista." You said with a much stronger voice.

Dream Krista looked at you and smiled gently. "Yes?" She asked. "Do I know you?"

you were shocked to say the least. Why would your brain create a dream and put your friend in only to have her not know who you even were? You decided to pretend it didn't confuse you and continued saying, "oh sorry... I'm [name] by the way. I was just wondering if you could tell me which regiment my jacket indicates that I belong to... Sorry it probably seems like the strangest question ever."

"Your jacket has the Garrison Regiments insignia on it. Is it not your jacket?" She asked, clearly confused by the question.

you laughed nervously. "Of course it's my jacket... I'm just not sure I belong here so maybe I just got myself confused. Thank you for helping me out though." You tried to seem as inconspicuous as possible but feared you were much to odd to pull it off. 

 _What is the purpose of this strange dream? I probably won't remember it anyways so why?_ You felt something pulling you out of the dream.

 

Krista was nudging you awake. You had slept in and she was looking after you again. You couldn't believe that such a short dream took the entire night.  _Wait a minute..._ you thought.  _I can remember that dream. I can remember it very well._ You decided to tell Krista about it and ask what she thought of it.

"I was in you dream? And I was in the Scouting Regiment?" She asked. "That's strange... I actually have been feeling a mild pull towards the scouts for awhile now. Maybe your dreams tell the future!"

you cringed at the thought. You didn't know why but thought it must have something to do with the fact that most of your dreams were of your death, since they were nightmares. Krista saw you cringe but didn't try to comfort you for whatever reason. Maybe she thought you needed the space.

"Come on, Krista. We don't want to be late for training."

 

The training seemed particularly uneventful for the most part. It did rain about two days after the night you and Krista looked out at the moon together. You were training in the rain because it didn't matter what weather you had to face when you graduated you would still have to fight titans even in the rain. You heard the instructor yelling at someone who had fallen behind. Armin Arlet you thought his name was. With your unreliable memory you still weren't sure about it but it did seem right. Suddenly, armin seemed to get his second wind and caught up with the group with a look of pure determination on his face. 

 

You would be training with your own 3DMG tomorrow so you actually went to bed quite early. Krista didn't question it and stayed in the mess hall until she was forced to retire at curfew. You didn't blame her for possibly wanting a less boring friend to hang out with although you doubted that was what it was.

 

The dream was much less intimidating tonight. At least that's how it started. You were in your Training Corps uniform this time and standing atop the wall with some of your fellow trainees. Suddenly a large titan appeared and kicked in the gate.  _it's just a dream. This won't actually happen in real life. There's no way._ You thought to yourself as titans flooded through the gate. You fell off of the wall and thought for sure you would die but surprised yourself by actually getting a hold of yourself and firing the ODM wires at the wall to stop yourself From plummeting to death. The dream wasn't over yet.

You helped evacuate residents in Trost, which is where you were in this dream, and nearly died another five more times. Eventually you met up with the blonde boy that was actually named Armin.  _You were right this time with your memories._ he was sobbing. You couldn't figure out why until finally he spat out the names of everyone in his squad who had died that day... Including that Eren kid. Armin's childhood friend, Mikasa  _(that was her name, right?)_ led the group with a strange pep talk that actually had them all on their feet ready to fight for their lives instead of just giving up. You felt an odd sense of hopelessness knowing that the remarkable Eren was now dead too.

the dream got incredibly hazy and skipped ahead in an almost cutscene-like way. The dream skipped a bunch of events and suddenly you were in the supply warehouse being protected by an abnormal titan who was ignoring us and fighting off the other titans. The dream skipped around again and suddenly Eren was back and you had no clue where he came from but saw he was exhausted. The dream skipped again and suddenly the abnormal titan plugged the hole, preventing more titans from getting inside Trost. The dream was confusing but somehow you were still following it perfectly. You understood what was happening even though it was all just a dream...

 

Training continued as usual the next day. Training was tough but it was most definitely worth it. at least, that's what you believed. You had become less shy and had become friends with Eren, Mikasa and Armin after awhile. They introduced you to a very strong built guy named Reiner and his lanky friend Bertolt one day. During hand to hand combat, you met Connie and Sasha as well. They were actually sort of goofing off a bit and they made you laugh. They became your friends throughout training as well. One day, a strange guy named Jean introduced himself to you. You vaguely remembered him from the rumours you had hear regarding him fighting with Eren constantly. Jean seemed to be trying to put the moves on you but you laughed when his "friend" Marco came over. You thought the way they interacted was adorable and sort of hoped they would stop faking it and just be together already.

But then you looked at Marco's face. You had watched him die in a dream after the incident in Trost. You couldn't bring yourself to tell him that though so you continued to bug him and Jean about just getting together already. Jean seemed to blush at that while Marco laughed nervously. You were suspicious that they may have already "gotten together" at least once already based on their reactions.

 

It was a day before graduation when the worst possible thing happened. Your dream was coming true. You couldn't say anything to anyone but already knew exactly what was going to happen. The entire day was identical to your dream including the incredibly hard to believe fact that Eren was capable of turning himself into a Titan. There was a part of the whole ordeal that had not been in your dream though. The one thing that surprised you was the return of the survey corps and the super famous Corporal Levi Ackerman saving Eren's sorry hide after he had exhausted himself by turning into a Titan 3 times without enough rest. Shortly after Eren had been taken into custody by the MPs, you heard about Marco's death. You weren't surprised at all thanks to your dream, but you didn't dare tell anyone about that.

 There was to be a trial deciding Eren's fate within the next few days. Commander Erwin of the Survey Corps had visited each of you to interview you in an attempt to find a way to defend Eren. The Commander seemed fairly nice when he talked with you and thanked you for all of your help even though you felt as though you hadn't really done anything.

 

It was the day of the trial. You were allowed to be at the trial because of your being there to witness the whole event. The trial began. It was starting to look very bad for Eren. You felt bad for the Titan boy because there really was nothing to do. He had screamed at both sides about them being cowards that should just leave everything up to him. The MPs really didn't like that and trained a gun on him ready to shoot. It was then that Erwin whispered something to Levi. Levi hopped over the little fence and stomped Eren harshly. He began to kick the shit out of Eren. You cringed as Levi kicked a tooth out of Eren's mouth. It seemed like Mikasa was about to go and kill Levi immediately but Armin managed to calm her. The trial seemed to drag on as Levi kicked Eren. Eventually there was an opening where Erwin made his proposal to Commander in Chief Darius Zackley, who was judging the trial. To everyone's surprise, Erwin's proposal was accepted. Eren would go on the next scouting mission and based on the results, his worth to humanity would be judged.

 

With the trial now over, you returned to the training corps headquarters for the night. The top ten had been announced the day before Trost being infiltrated and tomorrow all the graduates would get to choose which Regiment they wanted to join. You hadn't made the top ten so you could only choose between the Garrison or the Scouts. You met up with Krista again when you arrived at the mess hall for your last supper as a trainee. 

"Hey, Krista..." You sighed as you sat down.

"[name], what's wrong?" She asked.

"I'm just incredibly stressed out... I don't know which regiment to join..." You saw Jean walking past and called him over. No way he would say no to you.

"what is it, [name]?" Jean asked as he walked over to you.

"what regiment are you joining?" You asked him.

he seemed to allow pain and determination cloud his expression as he stated, "I'm joining the scouts. How about you Krista?" He asked.

"I think I'm going to join the scouts too..." Krista said. Sasha and Connie were both passing by and heard our conversation.

"you guys are joining the scouts too?" Connie asked. 

"wow I thought for sure that you would be joining the MPs, Jean." Sasha said with her mouth full of bread.

"Jean lost Marco and he vowed to join the Survey corps to make use of his life in his name." You said not thinking how you weren't supposed to know that. Everyone turned to you shocked. Jean's face was a mix of emotion. You could tell he was incredibly conflicted since he didn't know what to even think.

"[name], how do you know that? You weren't at the bonfire to hear me say that." Jean said. You didn't know what to do now that you had slipped up a bit. You were trying to decide how to deal with this when the end of supper signal rang through.

You sighed after you decided what to do. "Ok. I need to tell you guys some stuff... Come on. Let's clean our plates and we'll talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after I uploaded chapter 1 I still had tons of ideas so I kept writing. Two updates in one day was the result. This fic will be released as I get each chapter finished. There will be no specific update days because of it. Next chapter could be up as soon as tomorrow because of how much this fic writes itself. I love it. Meanwhile, if any of you actually follow my other fic, it will still be getting weekly updates so ya.   
> Anyways, I'm kinda rambling so... Leave a comment telling me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

You led the small group of trainees that had become your friends during training back to your bunk and sat down, leaving room for everyone else to sit as well. You took a deep breath and looked around at everyone. Jean was staring at you with a super suspicios gaze. You didn't exactly blame him either.

"Well..." You began, "I told Krista about a few of my dreams and she speculated that they might tell the future or some bits of it at least. I didn't believe her hypothesis at all, for obvious reasons but then I had a dream about Trost being taken by the titans and everything that happened with that entire thing. Including Marco... I really didn't want to believe it but after Trost I'm starting to believe it quite a bit more. It all makes sense. But... I've dreamed of many things that haven't happened. For example, the nightmares I couldn't remember. I would assume I died in them. Also the first dream I remembered, I was in the Garrison. And I died. Or maybe not... That first one is still a bit hazy."

"[name], I think Krista may have been right but perhaps your dreams are sometimes shrouded in some sort of riddles? Maybe your dreams are warnings?" Armin added

"so then maybe the dream where you were in the Garrison was warning you that it was the wrong choice." Krista added.

You thought about the possibility and began to think that maybe your friends were right. You wondered if the way for you to survive was to actually join the scouts instead. Perhaps your subconscious was telling you that it was the best way to make a difference that would possibly be rewarding? "I'm still stressed right out about this choice. I'm not sure the Scouting Legion is the right choice either. I mean, logically, it's the most dangerous of the choices so why would I be safer there, right?"

"Why don't you just go to bed and let what happens tomorrow happen then?" Jean chimed in. Your small party started to dissipate at that comment mumbling words of agreement with the boy. 

"Maybe you're right, Jean." You responded, yawning. You didn't particularly like the idea of letting the decision make itself out of neccesity but decided to just go with your gut when the time did finally come.

 

The dream was incredibly vivid when it did finally take hold. All around you were titans, but they didn't attack you. It was as though you were invisible to them. They could even walk right through you if they chose to. You saw flares being shot into the sky in the distance. You didn't know what exactly was going on but the titans began to move. There were five in the begining, but two had disappeared while you where looking at the flares, leaving three more. They all gave chase in the direction of the flares. You noticed that you had your gear in this dream so you chose to use it to catch a ride on the closest titan.

it felt like the Titan had been running forever but eventually it made it to the vicinity of the flares. You saw red flares being fired as you neared the source of the flares. The entire group was changing course to escape the three titans. You decided to stop following the titans and latched onto a wagon with your gear instead. Once you had gotten into the wagon, you finally noticed that the group the flares had come from was, in fact, the Scouting Legion.

you tagged along for quite a while, gaining more of an understanding for their operations. The formation they were using was preventing most of their lives from being lost and you began to feel the pull to join their ranks growing with each passing moment. You actually rode with the Scouts until you were shaken awake by Krista.

 

"[name]! We're going to be late if we don't hurry!" Krista said while rushing to get herself ready.

You rubbed you eyes waking up before noticing that everyone else was already gone and then speeding up the process quite a bit. You had gotten ready in record timing this morning.

 

As you walked to the area for the briefing for the Survey Corps, you saw commander Erwin walking along, presumably to take his place for the speech he would be giving all of the recruits. "Commander Erwin!" You shouted as you jogged up to him.

"Oh hello there." He responded as though this happened everyday. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if the Survey Corps had any positions that never went outside the walls. Not that I wouldn't want to or anything, just curious..." You blurted out. You weren't exactly sure where the question had come from but you were somewhat glad it had forced it's way out.

"normally when we go on an expedition, everyone comes along. Normally they all want to. It is the most crucial part of what we do, after all. But if you will just bare with me, I will be discussing our casualty rate in my presentation in just a moment." He explained before turning to walk away.

"W-wait! Commander, do you think I would make a difference if I joined your ranks?" You nervously called after him.

He stopped walking and turned back once again. "What's your name?" He asked.

"I-I'm [name]." You stuttered.

"Nice to meet you, [name]. And in answer to your question, I think you would definitely make some sort of difference if you joined us. But, the choice is still your to make, my dear. Ask yourself, if someone asked you to die, would you?" He said before walking away, this time without you stopping him.

You ran to take your place among the other trainees and waited for Erwin's presentation.

 

"And nobody convinced me to put my life on the line. This isn't the kind of job you can do without really choosing it yourself." You heard Jean say as you came to stand by him.

you were all then instructed to face the stage. Commander Erwin was already there, ready. He explained how he was put in charge of the survey corps and discussed Eren and his unique power. He also told us about the fact that 90% of the survey corps soldiers had died in the past four years alone. He was being completely honest with all of us and told us that the plan to retake wall Maria could take five times the casualties and 20 years of work. He even told us that our survival rate, as new recruits, was about 50%. After telling us all of this new information, he dismissed anyone who wanted to join a different division. People began fleeing the scene rather quickly. You saw all of your friends remained where they were but had very confused of terrified faces. As though they were already doubting their decision. You had taken a few steps away but stopped yourself when you remembered Erwin's question.

 _If someone asked me to die... Would I? When it comes down to it, if I trusted their judgement enough to believe it was necessary, I would. I trust Erwin._ You thought. You walked back to your spot, looking at Jean and giving him a reassuring smile.  _No more second thoughts. I belong here._

"If you were told to die, could you do it?" Erwin asked the tiny group that had stayed put.

"I don't want to die!" Someone had responded.

Erwin looked pleased. "I see... Everyone, you look good. Very well! I welcome the newest members of the Survey Corps!" He saluted us before continuing. "This is my real salute! Devote your hearts to the cause!"

"Yes, sir!!" You yelled as you saluted along with the rest of the new Scouts.

"you have withstood your fear well... You're all brave soldiers. You have my heartfelt respect." Erwin said, concluding his speech.

 

After the whole speech, the whole Scouting Legion got on horseback and left for headquarters. Everyone was silent on the way there. Most likely still deep in thought from the whole thought of choosing this division. Mikasa looked completely content, as tho she didn't doubt her choice at all. From what you had heard, you do understand her point of view. She was planning to protect Eren as a scout. She was strong too. You didn't doubt she could do it.

You looked over to Armin and saw that he looked incredibly pale. He wasn't particularly strong but you didn't doubt that his wit would save his life. It was also quite possible that your judgement was being clouded by the fact he was your friend but that remained to be seen, so you didn't worry about it for now.

the rest of your friends seemed to have emotions somewhere in between Mikasa's and Armin's. As you rode on, you allowed your eyes to wonder, taking in the scenery. You loved how calm the forest seemed and heard faint birdsong. Eventually, you saw a break in the trees and a magnificent looking old castle. 

When you arrived at the castle, you all dismounted your horse and followed a man named Mike as he showed you around the grounds. Eventually, your group arrived at the stables once again and Eren ran up to talk to Armin and Mikasa. You didn't stick around to listen to what they said and kept following you tour guide. Out of the corner of your eye you say a short man standing by the castle wall watching Eren. You looked at him and were embarressed to discover that it was Corporal Levi. You shook of the feeling of embarrassment and focused back on the tour.

The tour eventually ended up at the room where you would be staying. Mike informed you all of which squad you would be in and told you about the class you would be attending to learn about the long range scouting formation. You were set to be in some guy named Ness' squad. You would be with Armin. You were actually glad to be with Armin because you felt his brain power would benefit you very much.

 

You eventually found yourself wandering around aimlessly through the halls of the grand castle. You were supposed to be asleep but couldn't sleep with such a drastic change in everything. The castle was just so incredibly different from everything you were involved in before. The hall you were currently in was near the stables. A part of you just wanted to go hide out in the stables with your horse, so, you did just that.

When you got to the stables, you heard someone else's shoe scrape the floor behind you. You chose to ignore it for the time being, but became super sensitive to your surroundings due to it. 

You arrive at your horse's stall and let yourself in. You stroke the horse absentmindedly, listening attentively to your surroundings. You hear the footsteps stop and you take a deep breath, working up the courage to confront your stalker. "I know you're there." You say, softly.

 You aren't sure who you expected to be following you, but it sure wasn't the small girl who revealed herself. "W-who are you?" You asked as politely as you could.

"My name's Petra Ral." She smiled sheepishly. "I hope you don't think I was stalking you or anything... I just sort of saw you and I wanted to make sure you were ok. You're new aren't you? What's your name?"

"o-oh... My names [name]." You responded. "I hope I'm not supposed to be here... I really don't want to get in trouble or something for something silly."

Petra laughed. "You aren't in trouble. I won't tell anyone. After all, you just went for a small walk. It's not like you were going to sabatoge anything so I wouldn't be too frightened by my being here."

"Well of course I was just walking around. I don't really know my way around this place but I could find the stable so I came here because of my familiarity with the area." You responded.

"Perhaps I should help you find your way back to the dorm?" She suggested, clearly hinting that you should go to sleep.

"That would be lovely, thanks." You smiled at her, listening to the offer and yawning in response.

 

The next morning at breakfast you sat with your friends and discussed the excitement they were feeling about joining the Scouts. "So... Where did you end up last night?" Krista asked you suddenly.

"Oh... I wound up in the stables. I met one of the elite members out there. Petra." You responded, trying to sound indifferent to the matter.

Eren seemed to know exactly who you were talking about. "You met miss Petra?" He asked, almost surprised.

"Ya Petra Ral was her full name..." You said, not understanding the connections. "Why? Is she important?"

"She is a part of Squad Levi!" Eren said.

you visibly blushed. "Oh my god... I probably seemed like such a complete tool to her! Good job, [name]! Way to make a good impression on the higher ups..." You exclaimed before allowing your head to slam into the table in exasperation.

Reiner, one of your latest friends, laughed at your response. "Calm down. If it was really something to worry about, you would have been called to talk to one of the elites by now, right?"

"ya... I suppose you're right..." You responded, lifting your head again. Suddenly, you saw Commander Erwin approaching your table and your gut began to twist over itself.

"Cadet [name]. Come along. We have some things to discuss." Erwin said.

You looked around at your friends before walking to what felt like your doom. What could Erwin have to discuss with you? Was it about last night? It made you extremely nervous...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tee hee! So many cliffhangers. I enjoy them so much. Although if I get half as much time to write this week as I hope to, there won't be a very long wait to find out what happens next. And please, do leave a comment falling me what you thought ^-^


	4. Chapter 4

Erwin led you to his office and offered you a chair. He took his seat behind his desk. You were beginning to get very nervous as to why you had been summoned this early in the day. 

Unable to wait any longer, you blurted out "Commander, why exactly did you call me here?"

Erwin leaned forward on his next, eyeing you up. "I called you here because I wanted to discuss your assignment in our upcoming expedition. But first, let me ask you something..." Erwin stood up and walked over to the window. "You are aware of the two research titans who were killed?"

you had forgotten about the whole experience but the whole thing came to the forefront of your mind when he mentioned it. "Of course... It wasn't all that long before I joined with you guys."

"Very good. Now the question is, after that entire experience, who do you think the real enemy is?" He said, turning back to you and patiently waiting your answer.

when you didn't respond, he waved his hand dismissing the whole thing. "Nevermind. You may go now."

"No. Wait. I have an answer. I think the real enemy isn't exactly the titans themselves. There's no way that they could be the only problem. A big part of the problem is the humans in our society." You paused, unsure if you should continue or not. When Erwin didn't stop you, you continued "I mean... Some of the people here allow theif fears to control them and that makes the monarchy dangerous because they can turn that fear into a control mechanism. It's probably the reason why people call us in the Scouting Legion crazy or suicidal. It's just what they've been brainwashed to believe."

"Hm. Not bad." You heard someone say from behind you. You turned around to see Corporal Levi standing against the wall next to the door.

"C-Corporal Levi?!" You said, startled.

"Tch. Damn, you had this one judged well." He said to Erwin as he glared directly at you. His stare was so intense that you felt as though it would pierce you to the wall behind you. You decided that it may be better for your personal health to turn away so you returned your gaze to Erwin.

"Um.. Sir? Can I ask what this is about?" You asked Erwin.

"[name], I am looking for those of us in the regiment that are trustworthy enough to be brought into the covert mission we will be attempting on the upcoming expedition. You have proven to be quite remarkable thus far so I thought I might give you the option of answering the crucial question that would, if answered properly, allow you to be included." He explained.

Levi walked over to the desk and leaned on it. With him so close to Erwin, you had to seriously fight the urge to laugh at the incredible height difference between them. "Get that stupid look off your face, cadet!" Levi commanded upon seeing the smile that had resulted from you trying to prevent the laughter. 

"I'm sorry..." You sheepishly respond before looking at your oh-so-fascinating hands to avoid your superiors gaze.

Erwin cleared his throat. "So, [name], how would you like to be put into the command squad with me? Please be aware that if you are put into my squad, it could potentially be more dangerous with the operation we are going to be attempting. It does require the highest level of secrecy too. You won't be ably to discuss anything with even your friends. But the plus is that you will have access to all important information and won't be in the dark like the rest of the new recruits will be."

Levi continued to stare at you as you lifted your head to meet Erwin's gaze. You were about to respond to Erwin's question when Levi interrupted. "How old are you, brat?"

"Um... Well I'm not sure what exactly that has to do with anything... But I'm 23... And um... I would love to ride alongside you, Commander... If you are certain that I wouldn't just get in your way, that is." You responded answering both questions at once.

Levi spoke up first. "Tch. 23 and still shitting herself whe it comes to responsibility. I sure as hell hope you didn't make some error in judgement." He said to Erwin.

You started to get a little pissed at the short man's relentless verbal abuse. You stood up facing him directly, noticing that you were taller than him. Using your height you glared down at him. " _Excuse_ me? I'm terribly sorry,  _Corporal,_ if I'm not the ideal woman for you but last time I checked, I wasn't some sort of irresponsible flake!" You would've continued to lash out at Levi if he hadn't chosen that moment to turn from harmless verbal bully to physical threat. He grabbed the collar of your shirt and pinned you against the wall next to Erwin's desk.

through gritted teeth he seethed at you. "As much as I love being looked down on, I'm gonna have to stop you right there." He shook you but you regained your composure. "Now then, you may be older than the other recruits, but you need to learn your damn place before the expedition or we are going to have a big problem.  _Are we clear?"_ He didn't let you go and the look in his eyes terrified you so much.

You didn't let it show, however. "Yes  _sir._ " you responded, still feeling bitter.

"See, I don't believe you." He slammed you against the wall again. "Now then." He pulled you from the wall and tossed you back into your chair. "I believe there's been some type of confusion here. The Commander, over there thinks you are some remarkable specimen because of how you have behaved up until this meeting but let it by known that all I've seen so far is a little girl who is terrified of her shadow trying to be tough.  _Please,_ prove me wrong." 

"Well, _sir,_ I'm terribly sorry but fact of the matter is, you don't know the first thing about me. It pisses me right off that you would make a wild assumption about my abilities based on fuck all! Also, asserting your physical prowess over me doesn't do anything besides make me want to fume even more. So  _please!_ Toss me around some more." You retorted.

 _"Alright, you two! Cut it out!"_ Erwin shouted. "Cadet, I do believe it would benefit you greatly to control yourself. Don't make me regret the decision to take you with the command squad. And Levi, she isn't entirely wrong. You did judge her unfairly."

"Tch." Levi gritted his teeth, showing clear annoyance with both of us. "If Cadet [name] hadn't decided to use her height as some sort of put down, I may have been able to overlook it all. However, her feeling the need to be taller than me to make her point just made my point more prominent." He stared directly at you. "She is a chicken. She isn't even brave enough to handle her superiors without some sort of comforting mechanism. In this case, her height." He spat.

You were still seething. "Levi, if I may say, you exerted your power as a way to attempt to control me. Is that not essentially the same?"

Levi flared directly back at you. "Excuse me? I'm fairly certain we are not on first name basis around here. And no. They are not the same at all. I am not afraid, unlike you."

"oh, but I think you are." You struggled to hold back a grin. "You most certainly are afraid of something. You are also afraid of admitting it. Don't act so high and mighty, corporal."

Levi looked as though he was ready to use his strength and snap you in half. You had finally exhausted all of your rage towards him and debated whether or not you should try to fix the situation. You took a deep breath, eyeing the seething man.

"Corporal, we are all human. We are all afraid of something. Don't try to deny it." You watched his reaction closely, hoping you weren't just making things worse. "Personally, I'm terrified of going outside the walls because I don't know what's out there, but I'm also afraid to die within the walls not knowing what's outside. I think you are afraid of losing control of some sort. Am I right, Corporal?" 

"No. You are completely incorrect..." He said. He started walking by and stopped right next to you. "You really are something. I'm just not sure what. When you're done talking with Eyebrows over there, we have some shit to discuss. Get your ass to my office right when you're done here." And then, he left you alone with Erwin.

"well..." Erwin started. "That was quite unexpected." He took his seat and leaned back, just looking at you. "You really are something..." He said.

You leaned back in your chair as well, groaning. "Sir, I'm so sorry. I totally understand if you don't want my help with the operation anymore... He'll, I'd understand if you wanted to kick my sorry ass out-"

"who said anything about kicking you out of anything?" Erwin said, cutting you off.

You sat up straight in your chair looking at Erwin. "W-wait, does that mean you still want me in the command squad with you?" You asked.

"My dear, you are by far the bravest soldier I have ever met. It takes a hell of a lot of guts to talk to Corporal Levi like that. Actually, I'm surprised you are still conscious right now. I thought you would've passed out from the fear or something."

"gee thanks..." You retorted, somewhat hurt by the comment.

Erwin laughed and then stood up to shake your hand. "I believe you will be really great to work with. I look forward to it." And then he dismissed you.

Out in the hallway, you began to think of what your would do next. You damn near shit yourself when you remembered what you were supposed to do next.

 

You had to meet with Corporal Shorty. Alone. You didn't drink, but God you could use a drink now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eheheheh I love how this one turned out. The little scuffle between reader and Levi was wonderful to write. Wasn't planning on including any relationships in this tbh but honestly shit might go down and someone might end up with someone. Idk like I've said, this fic is kinda just writing itself so it will end up where it ends up. I hope you are enjoying the ride though! Please leave a comment telling me what you thought!


	5. Chapter 5

You were nervous. No, scratch that. You were downright terrified to be in a room alone with the volatile short man. Regardless of your fears, you began to search for the Corporal's office. You were having issues finding your way around so you stopped someone in the hallway with glasses. The person, Hanji was her name, was incredibly hyper and almost to happy to deliver to your death. Although, giving them credit, she didn't know what her showing you to his office truly meant. Once Hanji left you alone, you reluctantly knocked on the door.

"It's open." Came Levi's slightly irritated voice.

You turned the doorknob, feeling your stomach twist up at the same time. You silently gulped and stepped through. Levi was sitting at his desk trying to look uninterested by your presence. You cleared your throat and saluted the short man. "Cadet [name]. Reporting." You said.

Levi looked at you very suspiciously. Without his permission, you stayed exactly where you were. He seemed to enjoy that fact and stared at you for quite a while. "[name], why are you suddenly waiting for my orders? I thought you were a strong woman who didn't listen to short men such as myself."

"Are you saying you don't want me to listen to you now?" You asked.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that I'd like it if you would be consistent with the way you carried yourself instead of always changing. It makes it very hard to judge your character when you always change." He finally motioned to a chair opposite him. "Well, go on. Sit."

You walked closer. Your body was rigid, ready to escape if you needed to. He didn't appear to move at all as you dropped yourself into the chair. You eyed him, somewhat suspiciously as he simply watched you and said nothing. It made you incredibly uncomfortable. He watched as you fidgeted under his gaze.

"Hm. Interesting." He snorted. He seemed almost amused by your fidgeting.

"Um... Sir? Why exactly are you staring at me like that? A-and why am I so 'interesting' to you?" You tried to keep your composure and hated admitting that you were starting to lose your confidence.

Levi raised an eyebrow when you used the formality of calling him sir. "So. I'm sir to you now? Interesting." He brushed his arms off as though they had gotten dirty or dusty since you had entered and leaned back in his chair. "I find it very interesting how different you act when I get you alone with me. Let me ask you cadet, are you afraid of me?"

You felt his scrutinizing gaze pierce you as you prepared to lie. You were afraid of what might happen if you told him the truth.

"Don't even think about lying to me either."

you gulped. "W-well sir... I actually am terrified of you." You continued to stare back at him with every intention of fleeing if he stood up or made any slight move that would tell you he was going to attack.

He snorted at your response. "So you are afraid. I knew you were. You look like a frightened animal with that terrified look you're giving me right now. Do you think I'm going to attack you or something? What would I even gain from something like that? Even if I did exert physical control over you, it's not like I could actually control you. There really isn't much point."

"I don't exactly know you well enough to trust you, sir." You replied.

"You trust the commander though. You trust him enough to trust that he wouldn't let me go too far back in his office. That's where you got the strength to lash out at me like that. And that's why you act so differently when I get you alone with me, isn't it?"

 _Damn, he has me all figured out and I still barely know who he is..._ You thought. All you could do to respond was nod.

"Ah... I see exactly what is going on now." He stood up and you had to fight the urge to bolt. He wiped his pants as if sitting had made them gross. He walked around the desk and stood in the small space between you and his desk. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched you closely. You fought the urge to break his gaze. It didn't seem as though his gaze was too harsh but you still couldn't stare at him for long periods of time and eventually looked off to the right, breaking the intense staring contest.

"Huh." Levi said. He's walked back behind his desk and took his seat once again. He looked at you with a less intense stare and continued. "So, why exactly are you so afraid of me? I'm sure I can guess why myself, but I'd love to hear your explanation."

"Well... My main reason is because of who you are. I mean, you're Corporal  _Levi._ It's also because of how strong you are and how, if you wanted, you could easily kill me. And there's a tiny bit of me that's afraid because of how little I know about you. You are an unknown variable..." You explained.

"Huh." He said. You both sat in silence for quite some time before you actually worked up the courage to look back at him. "Ah, so you _can_ still look me in the eye. Tell me, do you think I'm a bad person?"

"Sir, I honestly have no idea what kind of person you are." you responded.

"Very well then. I'll tell you what. You can ask me any questions you want to and I will answer them. If we are going to work together, you need to trust me. I should be able to trust you as well, but if need be I can physically control you and you know that so I don't see why you would betray me." He said, attempting an air of indifference.

"Sir, what made you want to join the Survey Corps?" You asked, ignoring his last comment regarding his absolute control he could have over you if he chose. You felt a blush towards the last bit, unsure what that could possibly mean and fearing what it might mean as well.

"I didn't really have a choice but to join." He said simply.

"what do you mean by that?" You were now thoroughly interested in this man's history. He was just so _intriguing._

"Have you heard of the underground city?" He asked instead of answering the question.

"The underground city? Wasn't that sort of a last ditch effort to escape the titans?" You responded, unsure of it.

"Yes. But it was abandoned very shortly after construction because of how terribly people were handling living without the sun. Anyways, criminals took it over and it became a haven for crime and gangs. Quite a bit of illegal activity occurred down there." Levi explained.

"Sir, what does this have to do with your past?" You urged.

"You're an impatient little brat. Erwin caught me down there. He used the fact that I was a notorious thug against me to rope me into the Survey Corps. I had become very good with 3DMG out of necessity from living there and he wanted to use my skill." He said.

"You were a thug?"

"Not by choice, but yes."

"what reason did you have for agreeing? It couldn't have just been some blackmailing that drove you to this life."

"There are some things that I am still not willing to tell you just yet. Pick a different question, brat."

"Why exactly are you taking the time to earn my trust? And don't give me the 'We're colleagues and need trust' bullshit. Sure that's important, but we aren't even in the same squad." 

"Pick a different question."

You sighed, not happy with the lack of answers you were suddenly getting. "Are you happy with the way things are right now? Like I mean with your position in the corps and how people look at you."

"that's enough questions for today. Leave now, brat." He said.

You pouted, unhappy that your question period was now over. You stood to leave with a whole new view of the short corporal. "Thanks for letting me ask the questions, Corporal. I actually do trust you though. You still terrify me in some ways, but I do trust you. You seem incredibly reliable too. Do me a favour though. Be happy." Levi stood too and reached his hand out to ruffle your hair. 

"Ya ya, get outta here, you brat." He said with an expressionless face.

 

Once back in the hallway, you were stopped by Hanji once again.

"Hey! We didn't have much of a chance to chat yet! I hear Erwin has decided to trust you with the upcoming operation. You probably don't know much about it yet though do you?" She said.

 "Not really. I'm sure Erwin will tell me more as we get closer to the day of it though. I still have to learn the long distance scouting formation too so I'm not in a rush to overwork my brain with the new information just yet." You responded.

Hanji looked around her to see if the two of you were alone before pulling you closer to ask you something. "What did the shorty want with you?" She asked with a hint of pure mischief evident in her voice.

"N-nothing! I just sort of yelled at him earlier about insulting me without knowing anything about me and next thing I knew, he was summoning me for a private meeting with him." You responded.

"how was the meeting with him alone then?"

"Honestly, I was terrified in the beginning but I think I'm starting to get used to him. He let me ask about his past... Well a little bit at least. I know he was in fact a thug in the underground city and that Erwin blackmailed him into joining the Scouts." You explained.

Hanji's eyes got really big after hearing how much Levi had told you. "Did he tell you about Isabel and Furlan too?"

"Who are Isabel and Furlan?" You asked her.

"Its not my place to tell you about them. You should ask Levi about them. Go right now. I don't doubt that he would tell you. He seems to like you already if he's told you even the smallest bit from his thug days." She said as she pushed you back towards Levi's office.

"H-Hanji! Please stop for just a second. Don't you think it's going to seem odd if I just show up again right after being dismissed?"

"So what? Go get him! Trust me. He already trusts you. I'm not exactly sure why, but he does. I'm sure you could ask him anything if you word it correctly and he would answer you." She said as she continued to push you down the hall.

 

Hanji knocked on the door and threw you in the room when she got you there. You stumbled into the room, ungracefully and mumbled a bunch of different apologies to Levi about intruding and being such a complete hopeless case.

"What do you need?" He asked cutting off your rambling apologies.

You took a deep breath before finally spitting out the question that was starting to eat at you from the pure curiosity you felt from it. "Who are Isabel and Furlan?"

Levi stood up and glared at the door. " _Hanji!_ get you shitty ass in here  _now!_ " you cringed at the absolute harshness that filled his voice.

"Levi, my darling, I have to go. Sorry! We can't chat right now, my dear!" You heard Hanji say through the door before laughing and walking away.

"Shit." You mumbled. "I'm sorry, corporal. You don't have to answer the question if it was out of line." You said to the angry man.

"Sit down." He said with a surprising amount of calmness in his voice. You sat and watched as he did the same. "Isabel and Furlan were my friends from the underground." He paused and you felt an overpowering sadness as you realized he said 'were'. You took it to mean that they were now dead. Your suspicions were, unfortunately, confirmed as he continued. "They died during our first expedition. It was incredibly foggy and I made the decision to leave them to accomplish a special job we were supposed to be doing. The titans severed Isabel's head from her body and crushed Furlan's life out of him. It was all so stupid. The job wasn't even really worth it. But, I can't change what's been done. After all, no one knows what the outcome will be."

You stood up and hopped over Levi's desk to hug him. You didn't care if it was unprofessional or if he hated it or any of that. After what he had just told you, he needed it. To your surprise, he didn't pull away immediately.

"What are you doing, cadet?" He demanded softly.

"Shut up, Levi. You need this." You said, forgetting to be formal.

"I don't need this." He said, but didn't pull away.

"Levi, I trust you. Please trust me too, ok?" You told the still rigid man.

"Why should I trust you?"

"because I want to be your friend and friends trust each other." you released him from the hug and returned to your chair.

"I don't follow your logic... This morning you hated me and now it's barely past lunch and you are begging for my friendship. You make no sense, [name]. Besides, who said that I wanted to be anything more than your superior officer?" Levi said.

"I don't care what you want. I'm telling you what I want and how I intend to show it. Personally, it doesn't matter if you ever think of me as your friend. As long as you choose to trust me I will be happy." You explained.

"Alright then... I suppose, since you put it that way, I will trust you too. Now seriously get lost. I do have work to do here." He replied.

"Ya ya... I have to go learn the scouting formation anyways... See ya, Levi." You said as you let yourself out. You were beginning to feel much better about the scouts after getting the trust of corporal Levi.  _This won't be so bad._ You thought as you wandered through the hall, looking for your class.

 

You ran directly into Erwin as you turned a corner and he had you follow him back to his office.

The entire way there, you kept wondering what he could need to tell you now and were somewhat worried by it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO HOO! I love this so much. Not even gonna lie, it will probably end up being a reader x Levi fic because I love writing their interaction so much. But hey, who knows with this fic? We shall see where it goes! Hope you're enjoying the ride though! And please, leave a comment telling me what you thought. Feedback is appreciated ^-^


	6. Chapter 6

Erwin offered you a chair and took his place behind his desk. He pulled out a silver key and a large envelope. He gave you the envelope and key and proceeded to pull out a poster-sized roll. "The key is for your private room and the envelope includes a bunch of helpful documents including a map of the castle and all the information about the upcoming expedition. This poster her is a diagram of the long range scouting formation. A detailed explanation is included in the envelope."

"Oh wow. Thank you sir. I really appreciate this. Especially the map." You responded.

"So, [name], how have you been adjusting to the Scout life?"

"well... I haven't really done much besides talk to Corporal Levi and meet Hanji. But I think I'll do fine here. I'm really enjoying it so far." You explained to Erwin who had the strangest look of shock on his face from what you had said.

"Wait a moment... Did you seriously say that you spent most of the day with Levi and are enjoying the Scouting Legion based on that?" Erwin asked incredulously. 

"I suppose that is what I said. Levi honestly isn't that bad. He's just a little abrasive." you defended Levi.

"Haha! You are quite funny. Not many people would say that about Levi. I'm surprised you aren't afraid of him after what happened this morning in my office here." 

"I was at first. But then he let me ask him questions about himself. He actually gained my trust quite quickly."

"Levi let you ask him personal questions?"

"that was Hanji's reaction too." You laughed.

"What did he tell you?"

"He told me that he wouldn't be in the Scouts if it wasn't for you blackmailing him and his friends about it. He didn't tell me about Isabel and Furlan at first either but then after Hanji sort of threw me into the room, forcing me to ask him about them he told me how they died during their first expedition outside the wall. It's quite sad... I feel bad for him. From what I understand, they were quite important to him." you explained as Erwin sat silently listening.

"Levi must trust you quite a bit already. You are going to do just fine in our little regiment. Now I suppose I should have someone show you your room since it's quite obvious you will no longer be making it to class with the other trainees." he stood up. "Also, I'm sure I don't really have to remind you but, you can't tell any of them about the operations on these papers. And I'm terribly sorry but your interactions with them are going to be severely cut back for awhile." He then proceeded to lead you into the hall and looked around for someone to show you to your room.

You noticed a familiarly short, black haired figure walking down the corridor just to the right of Erwin's office. Erwin noticed him as well and called him over to guide you to your room. "Levi show her to her new room. I'm sure you know which one I mean." Erwin said.

"Tch. Why can't you show her yourself?" He complained.

"What, you don't want to help your friend out?" You replied with a forced smile.

Erwin raised an eyebrow towards you and returned to Levi saying, "I've got plenty of preparations to make for the expedition and you know that. Don't be so difficult, Levi."

"Tch. Fine. Let's go then." He said before turning around and walking away. He didn't even bother checking if you were following and turned a corner as you finally snapped out of your illogical stupor and rushed to catch up.

"Geez, Levi. Don't be so cold." you say as you struggle to see where you are walking to. "Is it just me or is it pretty dark here?"

"Tch. What exactly was that back there anyways?" He asked you as he continued to walk, turning down another corridor.

"Oh sure. Brush off my question..." You say dryly even though you weren't actually expecting a response. "Levi." You say in an attempt to get his attention. He continued to walk. "Hey. Levi." He still ignored you. "Fine. I said that because you were being mean to me and I wanted to make sure you actually understood before you went to far. It seems as though you don't even notice when you're putting people down anymore and I'm not about to let that fly with me." He still walked on. "Levi, are you even listening to me?"

"Of course I am. Regardless of what stupid idea you have in your mind, I'm not that rude." He snapped back.

"S-sorry then..." You replied and let silence fall again. You followed his shadowy form down the corridors until you both arrived at a door.

"Here it is." He said and then turned to walk away.

"Levi. Stop." He didn't stop. You grabbed his wrist and tried to force him to turn around. He was of course stronger than you and he just wrenched his arm free. He did finally stop and turn to you.

"What do you want?" He demanded.

"Did I do something to piss you off or are you always this cold?" you leaned against your door waiting for his response.

"I'm not exactly sure what you mean." He said.

"Okay then... Want to come in?" You asked.

"what for?" 

"Well... You let me ask you questions about yourself so it's only fair to let you do the same." You say as you fish out your key.

"Tch. Fine." He finally agreed.

You unlock the door and open it to see your new room. Inside you see a plain bed and a desk with two really nice looking chairs so you can use your room as an office if you needed. There was a window that opened out to an area very close to the stables. It was already sunset. "Oh ya... I'm going to have to get my shit from the trainee dorms..." You mutter before offering Levi one of the chairs and taking the one opposite.

"So what the hell pushed a chicken shit like yourself to join the Survey Corps?" Levi asked.

"I'll just ignore that lovely insult you tossed in there... I had a dream that urged me to. I don't think I would've lived very long in the Garrison." You said, subconsciously noting how stupid that actually sounded.

"A dream. So you really don't have much of a reason then."

"No, not at all. It was actually a very large influence."

"Your dream?"

"My dreams are quite special. See, I've dreamt about the future before and I saw my death in the Garrison."

Levi looked at you as though you were incredibly crazy. You didn't blame him after how crazy you must've sounded.

"Wait a moment..." You said as you thought of something. You pulled out the poster with the scouting formation on it and unrolled it on the desk. "I knew it. I saw this in a dream too. The scouting formation. I already know it from my dream. I also already know that your squad is going to be situated right here in the fifth column centre."

"How can you be so sure? I don't even know for sure where my squad is going to be situated yet. Although I don't doubt that any person could guess we would be there. It is the safest position in the formation." He replied.

"yes but how could I possibly know any of this without knowing how the formation even works? This is honestly the first time I'm looking at an actual diagram of it and you know you can believe me because what reason would I have for gathering this information before joining?" There's the command position right there. Second column centre. That's going to be me. And mark my words, something is going to go wrong on this expedition. Something that cannot be prevented and I'm so sorry." You said as images of the dead ones began to flash through your mind.

"I'm not certain I can believe any of this right now. Although I might consider it once Erwin decides our true positions in the formation." He finally stated.

"I'm not crazy if that's what you're thinking right now. Please trust me on this one. And please when this all goes to shit, don't blame yourself ok?" You said to Levi.

"Have you told the commander any of this yet?"

"No. Not yet... I'm really hoping I don't really have to but if you think I should, then I will trust your judgement. You must understand why I'm reluctant to say anything though. I mean, it does sounds insane." You shrugged as if it was irrelevant and you were just mentioning it because it was related to the subject.

"I think it would be wise to voice your concerns about the expedition but I don't see the need to tell him the ridiculous story about your dreams since we still don't know for sure if your dreams really tell the future." Levi said, finally being serious about it.

"All right then. I will. But what happens if I'm right and it simply can't be prevented? Levi... I'm so sorry..." 

"What the fuck are you so sorry about? You've been tossing apologies every single time you mention this 'issue' that's going to occur. Stop being so fucking difficult and just tell me. It seems like it's something I should know."

"Are you sure Levi? I'm not sure it would be a good thing for you to worry about..."

"[name]! Just spit it out! I'm getting sick of this already. I'm part of the Scouting Legion. It can't be any worse than anything I've witnessed so far. So just tell me already!" He demanded suddenly.

"Alright..." you took a deep breath to prepare for what you were about to say. "Your entire squad is going to be wiped out except for Eren and you... The entire regiment is going to get blind-sided by a super powerful threat and capture is going to fail. The threat will escape and attempt to take Eren but you will be able stop him. You cannot prevent it and I'm so sorry..." You explain as the fuzzier bits of the dream clear up in your mind.

Levi stood up quickly and said, "What the hell do you know?! I sure as hell  _can_ prevent it! What the hell could possibly distract me from it?! You are insane and we are done here!"

He left the room, slamming the door behind himself. You took out the map Erwin had given you and found it was marked for you. You took it with you and went to your old dorm to fetch your few belongings and returned to your room. You began to put things away and for some reason, began thinking about your mysterious brother for a second time since joining the military. Was he even alive anymore? 

Your stomach growled loudly, reminding you that all you had eaten was breakfast and it wasn't really all that much in itself. You went to the mess hall and found that you actually weren't all that late for supper. You grabbed your food and went to find a place to sit. 

"[name]! Over here!" Jean called. When you sat down he continued talking. "Where were you today? Did you skip class or something?"

"Oh no, Jean. Nothing like that." You paused to think of a suitable lie. "I was summoned to Erwin's office for what I thought was some sort of scolding but he offered me a higher up position because of how much older I am than the rest of you."  _That sounded believable, right?_

"Wow that's so cool [name]!" Armin said with sparkling eyes. "You took it right? Please say you took the job. What is it anyways?"

 _Shit._ "Well... I'm Erwin's personal assistant." You lied easily, answering both of the questions.

"Don't lie, cadet." Came Levi's voice from behind you.

you yelped in shock and turned to see Levi looming over you. You glared at him with as much hatred as you possibly could.

"The part about working with the commander is true but it's because he thinks she is special in some way. Tch. Lying to your friends is an unwise decision you stupid brat. If you keep it up, no one will trust you." Levi said to help you out.

"I'll keep that in mind, corporal." You said, cringing at the subtle hint towards your earlier discussion. You assumed he was giving your one and only warning about lying and how quick he would stop trusting you because of one. He then left, satisfied with his little interruption.

"[name]! Does that mean you are working with Corporal Levi too?!" Eren said without masking his interest.

You laughed mildly at his excitement "down boy." You joked. "And yes I am. If I'm correct, I'm going to be a part of the planning... Which might be good with my situation."

"You mean the dreams?" Krista asked.

"well ya... Although I'm still not sure if anything I see in my dreams can be changed..."

"you changed yours." Jean said.

"well ya... Ya! Your right! I did, didn't I... But still. Mine was just a matter of taking a different path in the military. I'm not sure I can change other peoples fates like that..." You explained, thinking back to Levi's reaction to your dream concerning his squad. 

You chatted with your friends off and on for the remainder of supper and then had to say goodbye to them finally when you had to make your way back to your room.

"You have your own room?" Was the question that came up from that and you simply answered yes before leaving them for the night.

 

You flopped on your bed, groaning into your pillow. You hadn't really done anything besides talk to your new colleagues but you felt so exhausted from it. You didn't get up once you hit the bed and wound up falling asleep just like that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter seems like a ton of dialogue... Idk... Maybe that's a good thing. Overall I'm actually fairly happy with this one tbh. Well, I hope you liked it and please do leave a comment telling me what you thought ^-^


	7. Chapter 7

You woke up to Levi shaking you awake. "How and why are you in my room?" You asked the short man.

"Shhh..." He said as he pulled you out of bed. He pushed you towards the hall and tugged you out to the stables. He helped you onto a horse and then hopped onto one himself. "Come on. We're taking a midnight ride out to the nearby forest. Just us."

 _What?!_ you thought. Unable to keep up with what was going on at the moment. "Why are we going to the forest?" You asked him before seizing the opportunity for a joke and saying, "you aren't going to kill me are you?" You smiled at your amazing joke.

"you got me." He said with a very uncharacteristic grin on his face.

"No really, Levi. What's going on?"

"Be patient my young one." Levi said.

you couldn't understand why he was acting this way no matter how hard you tried.

Eventually the two of you made it to the forest. 

"Follow close." He said and you spurred your horse to get it right next to his.

"Can you tell me what's going on yet?" You asked.

"Nope."

_There is no way Levi would ever say nope._

The two of you eventually came to a clearing dotted with blue flowers and a few purple pansies. The clearing was beautifully illuminated by the full moon. You heard something move in the forest and became incredibly aware of the darkness that surrounded the clearing. Levi dismounted and motioned for you to do the same. You hopped off and patted your horse as it began to graze.

"Levi, seriously. Why are we here?" You asked feeling panic at the unknown darkness that was surrounding you.

"I thought you wanted to be my friend. Well, this is what that would entail. Getting woken up at midnight to go stargazing in the middle of a forest." He explained as he walked to the centre of the clearing and lay down on his back looking at the stars.

You followed him and lay next to him. You tried to ignore the noises of the forest. Your senses were hyper-sensitive at the moment even though you were trying your absolute best to calm yourself. There was the sound of an animal scratching at something in the forest and you cringed, involuntarily, from the noise. Shorty after, you heard a wolf howl far off in the distance and you yelped at it.

Seeing that you were terrified, Levi grabbed you and pulled you close to him. He patted your head in a reassuring manner. You relaxed quite a bit in his embrace and closed you eyes. You felt Levi shift and suddenly he was pressing his lips against yours. You  _knew_ that something was incredibly off about this entire experience but couldn't bring yourself to care at the moment. When he pulled away and you finally opened your eyes you noticed how much nicer he looked with his harsh grey eyes so soft and bathed in moonlight.

 _I need to see this in real life._ You thought. Wait...  _Shit!_ Knowing it was actually just a dream shattered the whole experience. Somewhere within you, you had known it was a dream the whole time but had ignored it.  _No. Shit. Then that means... Fuck!_ You had fallen for the short, abrasive man. There was no denying it now.

 

When you finally did truly awake, you looked outside and discovered that is was just barely dawn. The sun was a tiny sliver on the horizon and the sky was filled with colour. There were a few very faint clouds dotting the sky that just added to the surreal landscape. You pinched yourself to make sure you were truly awake this time. Once you had established that you were, you began to get ready for the day.

You stretched and dropped yourself at your desk. You picked up the envelope Erwin had given you yesterday and began to flip through the pages. You found a short letter about halfway through that described your schedule for today. Directly after breakfast you were to report to Erwin's office for a quiz on the basics of the scouting formation. After that, he would call a meeting with the few people who would be involved in the covert operations and he would explain everything to all of us. The schedule stated that we would then take a short lunch break and I was to report to Hanji for a bit of titan physiology lessons. The schedule stated that that was all I would have time for before supper. You glanced at the write up of the scouting formation to solidify your understanding of the different flares and what they meant before you grabbed your castle map and began to find your way throughout the halls to the mess hall.

you yawned and stretched one last time before entering the mess hall to see it empty. No doubt you were the earliest riser. Then you noticed Levi at a table near the back drinking some tea. You decided to boldly join him and fixed yourself a cup of tea before sitting yourself down diagonally from his spot at the head of the table. He seemed to be deep in thought and you weren't too keen on breaking his train of thought so you silently sipped at your tea and waited for him to say something.

He seemed to acknowledge your presence but refused to be the first one to speak. Eventually you got tired of the silence and tried to think of something to say to break the silence.

"So... Levi... How are you this morning?" You said. You inwardly cringed at how stupid you sounded.

"Tch." He responded.

You twirled your fingers thinking about how awkward you were making everything. "Sir, may I ask you a question?"

"You can but there's no guarantee that I'll answer it." He responded.

"Do you ever stargaze?" You asked, ignoring the little inner voice that was screaming at you for being such a stupid lovesick puppy.

He looked at you, entirely thrown off by what you had just asked. "Do I stargaze?" He echoed.

"Yes."

"Well... That's a stupid question. And I suppose you're being serious here too. Seriously?"

"Yes sir... And you really don't need to tell me how stupid of a question it is... But still. Do you?"

"I used to. I've honestly got no reason to anymore." He responded.

"Oh..." You said. You could guess that he used to stargaze with Isabel and Furlan but didn't anymore because he didn't have anyone to stargaze with. The dream came back to the forefront of your mind. You were tempted to ask about the forest to see if there was a clearing in the middle like your dream. 

"What the hell are you asking me that for? Do you want me to go stargazing with you now?" He asked.

"Not exactly... Although I wouldn't mind if you did go stargazing with me." You replied.

"Let me guess. You're afraid of the dark and want me to come so you can rely on my protection or some stupid shit." He said dryly.

"Not at all... Although I am afraid of the unknown... And I would like you to come because I want to be your friend not because I want your protection from monsters. I'm not a five year old, sir." You replied, rolling your eyes.

"If not five, then how old? Six?" He asked with his strange sadistic humour showing through.

"Haha. Very funny. I'll have you know that I am actually 23. So shut up." You reply with the flattest expression you can manage.

"Oh wow. That means you have graduated to the big girl potty! Congratulation." Levi said as he lifted his cup to take a sip in a very strange manner.

You ignored his insult and decided to ask him about the way he was holding his cup. "How do you even do that?" 

"Are you honestly asking how to drink tea?"

You frowned at his sarcasm. "Yes that's definitely what I meant. No, you idiot. I'm asking how you can manage to drink tea while holding the cup by it's rim. Doesn't your hand get in the way?" You ask as you try to picture how you would go about doing it yourself.

"interesting. Why are you so infatuated by the way I do things?" He quipped back.

"W-what?! Infatuated? What do you mean by that?" You began to panic internally thinking he had caught on.

"I mean, why do you want to know every little thing about me? I'm certain we could easily be friends without knowing when the other needs to take a fucking shit."

"I'm sorry sir... I guess I'm just curious about humanities strongest. I guess I'll drop it though since humanities strongest doesn't approve." you stared into your tea to avoid meeting his intense gaze.

"Hey, brat. Look at me." He demanded.

"Honestly, Levi. It's no big deal. You don't have to say anything about your tea drinking habit if you don't want to." You replied without looking up.

"Do you want to see how I do this or not?" He asked harshly.

You brought your gaze up to watch how he grabbed the cup. As he tipped the cup back, his fingers shifted to a more slanted angle to allow room for his nose and allow it to work.

You decided to try it and followed the same procedure as Levi. You thought it was going well until you spilled some of the hot liquid on your nose somehow. It burned your nose and you began coughing.

"Tch. What a slob you are." He said while hiding the smallest of grins.

As you were sputtering, you asked him a simple question, "how?" You rubbed at your nose trying to get the irritating tea out. 

"It's not my fault you can't drink tea." He responded.

"Tea does not feel good in your nose..." You stated.

"What did you expect? It's a cup of boiled water."

You took another sip of your tea the normal way. A few other people began to stream into the mess hall for breakfast including Hanji who ran over to the two of you immediately when she saw you. She sat down a cross from you and smiled in a very unsettling way at the two of you.

"Hi, Hanji." You said to the crazy looking science lady.

"Hello to both of you too." She said while maintaining the almost deranged grin.

"Hey, shittyglasses. Wipe that stupid look off of your face before I rip it off myself." Levi snapped at Hanji.

"From what I'm seeing here, you shouldn't be so grouchy. Calm down mr. grumpy pants." she teased. "You don't wanna scare off your girly here."

" _Hanji!_ " you exclaimed in mortification. You felt your face begin to heat up with the approaching blush.

"What?" Hanji asked, feigning innocence.

You got up from your spot and decided now would be a great time to escape for breakfast. "I need food not this." You said motioning to Hanji. "See you around, Corporal." You said before giving Hanji a glare and walking away.

You grabbed your food and sat down at your normal table, waiting for your friends to arrive and munching very slowly. Today you had to deal with a planning meeting. Levi would most likely be there as well as Hanji.

"[name]! Good morning!" You heard a cheerful Eren say.

"Good morning, Eren." You respond.

"So, how was your first night as a big shot?" He asked with a friendly grin.

"I'm not exactly a 'big shot' yet, Eren." You respond, reflecting his smile.

"You're further ahead than the rest of us trainees. That makes you a big shot to me at least." He responded simply before taking a bite of his breakfast.

you shrug in response. "It was alright. I had a really weird dream about the corporal though... It was almost frightening." You tell him.

"Oh? What happened in it?" He was genuinely curious now.

"He woke me up in the middle of the night and dragged me out to the forest to stargaze with him." When you saw Eren's expression you laughed. His mouth was hanging open in shock. "Yup, I had the same reaction. He's much to stoic for that sort of thing..." You said but then remembered what he had told you earlier and mentally retracted the whole 'too stoic' comment.

"It wasn't a future telling dream, was it?" He asked.

"I honestly don't know... But do me a huge favour and keep this a secret, ok?" You begged him.

"Of course... Although, maybe you should tell Armin. I'm sure he'd be super excited to hear about every little detail regarding your dreams. I would suggest you listen to him too. He can probably figure this thing out really well."

"that isn't a bad idea. Hopefully I have some spare time to talk to him about this soon." you said before turning your full attention to breakfast and finishing it.

 

You knocked on the door to Erwin's personal office and felt butterflies in you stomach as you thought about what it might mean if you failed your quiz. Erwin's voice came within telling you to enter. You saluted Erwin and waited for him to tell you where to sit for your test. He gave you a piece of lined paper and said that the questions would be verbal and you would only write the answers.

"First question. What colour flare indicates that a normal titan has been spotted?" You wrote down red and waited for the next question. "Next one. What colour indicates a change of the formations direction and how?" You wrote down green fired in new direction and waited. "Next, which flare indicates an abnormal?" You wrote black. 

"Alright. That's honestly all I'm hoping you to learn for the upcoming expedition. The rest you will learn from experience in the field so don't worry about it." He said as he took the paper and looked at your answers. "Very good. These are all correct. You have a tiny amount of free time before the meeting so you are free to go for a short walk if you want to." He said

You saluted before leaving and wandered the halls nearby in an attempt to learn the layout of the castle better. You thought you were starting to up understand at least this area of the castle and thought that you should be heading back to the meeting room next to Erwin's office for the meeting. You quickly discovered that you had become lost. 

"Shit." You muttered as you fished through your empty pockets hoping that you had remembered to grab your map.

You heard someone taking steps around the corner and sped up to catch them, hoping they were someone you knew who could help you figure out where you where. As soon as you turned the corner, you say an all too familiar figure. Levi.

"Hey there, brat." He said without looking back.

"How did you know it was me?" You asked him.

"Who else would be stupid enough to get lost in here?"

"How did you know I was lost?"

"Not many people run to catch up to other people unless they are lost. Normal people just call the others name because they know who it is they're looking for."

"Oh... Well, yes I am hopelessly lost. You're headed to Erwin's meeting though, right?"

"Yes I am. Are you going to mention the strange concerns you have?" 

"Of course. You said I should so I most definitely will."

"be discreet. Otherwise you will definitely be thought of as crazy."

"Of course, Corporal." You replied, ending the conversation. 

You followed Levi in silence the rest of the way to Erwin's meeting room. You thought you were incredibly lucky to have run into him because otherwise you would still be lost, god knows where, in this mazelike castle.

when you arrived to the meeting you noticed that you two where the last to arrive. It made you wonder if you were possibly the reason Levi was late but you brushed it off since no one made a comment about it. The only people who were actually present at the meeting where you, Levi, Hanji, and Erwin himself. The rest of the people who where to be involved would be told the necessary information by the respective person. Hanji would tell the rest of her capture squad and Erwin would tell anyone else he deemed important to the cause.

"Um... Commander, I have a concern about our objective. Don't you think the specific titan we are trying to capture will bring about many preventable losses? How do we know that Levi and his squad can adequately and safely lead it to the trap and that we can subdue it without having too many losses?" You finally stated at the most appropriate time you could manage.

"Well... We aren't sure what might happen but I believe any losses we happen to acquire during the operation will be worth it in the end if we can succeed in our mission."

"And if we should fail?"

"We won't fail."

"You can't be so certain."

"It's a gamble, but if it means we might be able to push humanity one step closer to freedom, it's worth it." Erwin stated, putting an end to your small argument.

"Very well, then..." You respond.

The rest of the meeting was quite boring and just gave you a few bare details about the capture operation. You yourself would barely be involved so you weren't sure why you even had to be at these meetings to begin with. Eventually the boring meeting ended and you were dismissed for lunch. You found yourself walking to the mess hall with dread because you knew that you had a full afternoon with Hanji ahead of you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yahoooo! Another chapter out and finished! Seriously seems quite dry right now since nothing is happening between any of the characters yet... but hey! It my fic so things progress how I want em too. Also, if anyone's wondering why I never specify anything other than 'name' it's because I want to leave whether it's by up your first or last or full name up to you.  
> And as always, please leave a comment. I'd love that type of feedback... Not that I've gotten any yet...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I'm so sorry this update took so long! School and guitar and a bunch of other stuff kept getting in the way. Anyways, it's up now so please enjoy it!

Hanji's lecture about titans and more specifically the ones that were killed, was very repetitive and boring. Most of the information she was telling you was a bunch of things you had learned in your training already. You didnt actually get any new information out of her. Originally you had thought about telling Hanji about your dreams but were very glad you didn't when you discovered how intense she got over things she could experiment with and attempt to understand. It felt like you had been sitting there listening to her lecture forever when she finally finished and you were allowed to go to supper.

When you got to the mess hall for super, everyone he already taken their rations except for a select few and there were very few people left. None of which were your friends. You did see Levi but you didn't want to seem too weird by sitting next to him so you chose an empty table. You ate your supper at a very slow pace. You weren't finished yet when you realized there was only one other person left in the room.

And sure enough, it was Corporal Levi. He was watching you with such a lack of expression on his face that you weren't sure what to expect anymore. You finished the last few bites of your supper and cleaned up your dishes before going ahead and making yourself some tea. You were debating whether or not you should go to sit next to him or return to your lonely table.

"Would you stop looking like I'm about to attack you and just sit down already?" Levi snapped in annoyance as he watched you try to make your decision.

At his sharp tone, you made the quick decision to sit next to him. "So, how are you tonight?" You asked quite lamely.

"Tch. Don't try so hard to break the tension. You just sound like an idiot when you ask stupid questions like that." He responded.

"Sorry. Not entirely sure what to talk about with you. You're still such an unknown to me..." You said.

"Why don't you tell me more about those weird dreams of yours. If you want me to believe you about them, you better start telling me more about them." He replied.

you felt a blush as you thought about what you would have to tell him if you were to explain your dream from last night.

"What's up with the blush? Oh for fuck sakes... Don't tell me you had a wet dream last night." He said.

"N-no! Nothing like that... I'd just rather not describe the dream. I doubt it had any meaning anyways..." You said, trying to hide your blush.

"Doesn't really matter if you think they have meaning. Maybe your just too stupid to understand the meaning."

"Wow, thanks for that..." You said, felling mildly hurt.

"Well, what's the deal? Why won't you just spit it out already?"

"Because it was about you!" You blurted out. You instantly covered your mouth as you felt your blush deepen.

Levi raised his eyebrows in surprise at finally hearing the truth. "Ah... I see now. Well regardless, you're going to have to tell me. Although, now I can sort of understand why you think it isn't important. Not sure what I was expecting really."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" You said, letting the hurt show in your voice.

"You're quite interesting. Why don't you just admit that you have a stupid crush on your superior? Or are you embarrassed by it that much?" He questioned as he narrowed his eyes at you.

"Of course I'm embarrassed! I probably look incredibly unprofessional with this stupid crush..."

"Well, since I now know what the basics of it were, you might as well tell me exactly what happened in your stupid little fantasy." When you hesitated, he barked out, "Get on with it, brat!"

"Fine... You woke me up and dragged me out to the forest to a clearing filled with beautiful flowers and we stargazed. Then I got frightened and..." You broke off hoping he hadn't heard the last bit so that you wouldn't have to explain it to him.

"Well, get on with it. I'm still listening."

"Sir, it really wouldn't benefit anyone to hear the rest."

"This dream concerns me so spill it."

You cringed, inwardly in embarrassment. "Well... You pulled me close and kissed me..." You stared into your tea, no longer able to meet his eyes.

He didn't respond for quite a long time. You weren't sure if it because he was deep in thought or what it may be. Eventually you decided to raise you gaze to meet his. He was expressionless as always. 

"You're right. A silly dream that has nothing to do with anything. Maybe you aren't hopeless after all." He finally said before getting up and leaving.

You sighed deeply at the mess your dreams had caused you.  _Why can't I be normal..._ You thought.

you wondered if Armin was still awake and if he was willing to listen to you about you dreams. You set out to find out if he was. 

You wandered the halls with your map in hand, following it closely to avoid getting lost again.

 

 You knocked on the door to the trainee dorms and waited for someone to answer. The short blonde girl that had become your first friend opened. She smiled brightly at you and dragged you in.

"Guys! [name] is here!" She exclaimed. The statement seemed to draw all of your friends attention at once and they swarmed you. 

"Its only been a day, you know." You responded with a laugh at all of your excited friends.

All of your friends wanted to know all about your time away from them so you took the time to tell them all the things that had happened, including your experiences with Levi. It didn't actually take as long as you thought it would. After you had finished tellin them everything, you turned to Armin and asked him for his thoughts on your strange dreams.

"If I had to guess, I would say somewhere deep in your subconscious is a very special part of you that, when not distracted, can actually show you small samples of the future but in a discrete manner. Your silly crush on the corporal is hindering your ability and all that's happening now is fantasy dreams." Armin said.

"Well that helps me so much with this silly distraction..." you said.

"I don't think we can help you to ignore a crush..." Armin said to you after pausing to think about it.

"Does he know?" Sasha asked.

"Unfortunately, yes. He forced me to tell him because he said that in order for him to believe me about the dreams, I need to start telling him everything about them. After I told him, he got up, said it probably was just a stupid fantasy, and left." you explained.

"Probably?" Sasha asked.

"Oh fine. He confirmed that it _was_ just a stupid fantasy..." you said in a pouty tone. "Anyways, can we maybe just drop the subject? I would really rather not discuss this embarrassing thing any more."

"I don't quite get why you're so embarrassed by it. It's just a crush." Sasha stated.

"But that's the thing. With this weird dream thing, it isn't just a crush, is it? It's something that could potentially get in the way of important information. Whatever this is could be very useful and the stupid crush is making it so that I can't use it." You said, beginning to feel hopeless. You finally looked around thinking _Where's Eren anyways?_ You decided to vocalize your concern.

"Oh... Unfortunately, he has to sleep in the dungeon. Levi doesn't trust him with his transformations yet." Mikasa said with a slight growl at Levi's name.

"Oh... I see..." you responded. "I was kind of hoping to chat with him a bit tonight too..."

"Well, we aren't allowed but you might be able to because you're already considered as a higher rank than we are. You might have more clearance for things like that..." Armin said.

"Why don't you go ask Levi?" Jean asked with the slightest of grins on his long face.

You smacked him. "There's no need to be so rude... Horse face."

"Actually, Levi might be the best one to ask about that sort of thing so Jean wasn't too far off." Armin said.

You got up and began walking to the door. You sighed. "Ya... You're probably right... I guess I'm off to find the shorty... I'll talk to you guys tomorrow though. See ya."

As you were walking to the door, Krista stopped you to whisper something in your ear. "He's not that bad looking. I don't blame you... Although, he's not my type. Good luck."

You weren't quite sure what she meant by that, but took it to mean that she supported you.

 

You checked your map frequently to avoid getting yourself lost again as you made your way back to your room. When you got to your room, you sat down at your desk to search through your papers for a more viable reason to visit Eren. Of course, you found none. You sighed to yourself as you stood up and walked back out into the hallway. It would just be so much easier if the upcoming operation wasn't top secret...

You wandered the hallways in an extremely slow pace, dreading facing Levi after what you had been forced to confess. You took the long way to his office, half hoping he was already gone so that you wouldn't have a choice but to return to your room. You turned the last corner before his office and you stopped. _Shit._ He was right there. He was _just_ leaving so you were _just_ in time.

"What do you want, brat?" he said without turning his attention away from the door he was locking.

"I was wondering if I could see Eren?" you asked.

"What for?" he asked.

"W-well... He's my friend and I was hoping to talk to him..." you reply sheepishly.

"I thought you had a crush on me, not Eren." he said with the slightest of laughs.

You frowned at him. "Sir, can I see him or not?"

"You can't tell him anything about the upcoming expedition." he warned.

"I am well aware, sir. Although, I'm not entirely sure why not. From the notes I've looked at so far, his knowing about what's happening could actually be a benefit to us." you said.

"I don't make the rules. If the commander says we can't tell anyone, we can't tell anyone." he said. "Also, I am going to have to be present while you talk with our little pet."

"You don't trust me with him? Also, he is my friend so please don't call him anyone's 'pet'." You responded as you inwardly freaked out. The last thing you needed was for the Corporal to be present while you talked about him.

"Actually, I don't trust _him_ with _you_ but if it's really that big of a deal, you're on your own I guess." He said with a shrug. He began to walk down the hall towards the staircase that led to the dungeon. You followed him closely so you wouldn't get lost since there was very little light in the staircase and many different paths for someone to possibly take.

You came to the bottom of the stairs and Levi grabbed a ring or keys off of a nearby wall.

"Is he actually locked up?" you asked.

"Yes he is. Since we don't know much about how he transforms or even why he does it, we thought it would be safest for everyone if he slept locked up in one of the cells." he responded. "Do you have a complaint about it?"

"If you think it's for the best, I guess I don't really have much choice but to trust your judgment." you responded.

"You do realize that you are going to be locked in the cell alone with him while I'm on the other side of this door, right? Plenty of things could go wrong. Are you sure?"

"Are you worried for me, Levi? And here I thought you didn't like me." you said.

"Tch. Whatever. Let's just go then." he said before opening the wooden door that led to the cell block. Eren was in the first cell so it took no time at all to get to it. Levi unlocked the large steel door and allowed you to enter. Once you were inside, he locked you in and left to got wait outside the door. 

"Hi Eren!" You said to the brunette.      

"[name]! I'm glad you came for a visit. What's new?" He said.

"nothing too exciting. Well, that's a total lie but..." You scanned the empty area outside the cell. You motioned for Eren to come closer. "I have discovered the meaning to my latest dream."

"What is it?!" He asked excitedly.

"Oh you are going to love this one... The latest dream is my subconscious telling me to stop denying shit and admit that I have a crush on Levi. It's actually kind of embarrassing to say it like that." You say in a hushed voice in case Levi is listening from outside.

"No way!" Eren exclaims silently. "That's adorable. Does he know?" Eren asks.

"Unfortunately, yes he does..."

"how did he take the information? Did he act differently to you in any way?" He asked.

"Not really. He's just as much of a hard ass as ever." You replied.

"I think you should do something about that." Eren said with a smirk. 

"I might just yet. I think I should sleep on it for now though." You said. 

"Then go on and get to sleep already!" He said like a little fanboy.

"Alright. I get it." you said with a laugh "goodnight Eren." You said. "Levi! I'm done!" you shouted towards the door.

The short man walked in and came over to the cell to let you out. Eren stopped you before you could leave though.

He hastily whispered in to your ear, "seriously just do something. The corporal is too much of a hard ass to do anything."

you blushed almost immediately in response. You walked out of the cell with a small, shy wave to Eren. You let your eyes take in Levi's body as he locked the cell again and saw Eren smirk in response. You walked out the wooden door into the dark hall and waited for Levi to follow so that he could take the lead since you were really hopeless when it came to directions in this castle.

Levi took the lead and you followed in silence behind him.

"so what did the brat have to tell you?" Levi eventually asked. 

"Not a whole lot actually... He's too much of a gossipy bitch and wanted a bunch of juicy details about my dreams. We never got around to talking about him because he was too busy pushing me towards you." You were instantly surprised by how easily the truth came out.

Levi continued up the stairs in silence, completely unreadable from his silhouette, not that his face was particularly expressive either...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next chapter should be in Levi's persp so it may take a little while longer to write because I need to decide exactly how I want it to work out and I'm so indecisive... Anyways, leave a comment! I'd love to hear what you thought!  
> Edit: there were a ton of typos in this chapters. So sorry. I hope I got them all this time.


	9. Chapter 9

Levi's point of view 

I wasn't sure what to make of what the younger woman had told me. I had no reason to disbelieve her about her odd dreams any longer though. The fact that she was willing to tell me the awkward truth when I asked lead me to believe that she truly was telling the truth the entire time. I had decided to trust her about it.

But her latest dream... The forest and the kiss... There's no possible way she could've known about the moonlit clearing. It didn't make any logical sense.

What made less sense is how she could possibly know that I had planned to take her stargazing to the clearing.

I continued to walk ahead of her, hoping that she didn't know me enough to see my emotions.

Relationships can't happen in the scouting legion. It impairs judgement and can distract you to the point where you stop thinking logically and then you make mistakes and get killed on a mission. I can't let that happen to myself. I need to get my shit together.

But damn she is so adorable...

I took a quick glance, justifying it by saying to myself that I was just checking to be sure she hadn't gotten herself lost.

"um, Levi?" She asked.

"what do you need, brat?" I replied. 

"Can I stat with you tonight?" She asked.

"What for?" I ask instead of answering.

"Well... Maybe I'm out of line here, but, well... You already know how I feel about you and..."

"And you want to taste your delusion before you are forced to give it up." I said, cutting her off. I stopped walking up the stairs and turned to her to see if I was right.

"I'm sorry... That was probably incredibly out of line... Just forget it..." She said, looking at the floor.

"Tch. I'm not sure which is more stupid. The actual idea, or the fact that you didn't even give me a chance to decide on my answer." I say, hoping to get her attention back.

"Sir, what do you mean?" She asked innocently.

"Are you fucking dense, [name]? I'm saying that I'm going to let you spend the night with me." I said, pretending to be incredibly annoyed with her innocence. It was definitely worth it to see her smile as the idea sunk in.

She didn't act any different towards me after I gave her permission to bunk with me and simply began following me once more up the stairs. She became confused as we turned the corner to her room.

"No, I didn't change my mind about you spending the night with me so quit looking like someone shot your puppy. We're here so you can grab Anything you might need for the night. Hurry up." I quickly explained. She quickly brightened up once I told her that I wasn't dumping her off and did in fact hurry.

We made our way back towards my room. I could sense her surprise as we rounded the first and only corner and the realization of how close our rooms really were hit her.

"this wasn't on my map..." She mumbled as I unlocked the door to my room.

I opened the door and motioned for her to go in. I followed after and locked the door behind me. She was so busy looking at everything in my room, which wasn't that much actually, to notice. I did have a bigger room than her. Mine was more of a small apartment than a room actually. It had a small bathroom off to the right and a small kitchen to the left. The entrance area we were currently in had a small velvety couch and a desk for any business I had to take care of.

"The actual bedroom is through that door behind my desk. Go take a shower first though." I said. I pointed towards the small bathroom and awaited for her to agree before going to me room to fix things up for the night.

I went to the kitchen and looked around for some sort of drink. Eventually, I decided on tea and began to boil some water. [name] had returned just as the water had finished boiling. 

"Want some?" I asked. It gave me an excuse to look at her. She had some really simple tank top on and a pair of really worn looking shorts. Her hair was still soaking wet and it made her even more adorable.

"Sure, if you don't mind." She responded as she ran a hand through her hair to work out a few knots.

I offered her the stool across from me at the island and handed her one of the cups I had prepared. She watched me as I took my first sip. I knew it was the way I held my cup that she was interested in more than anything at the moment. She placed her hand around her cup, mirroring me. But then she seemed to remember the last time she attempted to copy me and took a sip the 'normal' way.

We sat in complete silence for what felt like forever. Eventually, I had had enough of the stifling silence and decided to speak up.

"Why exactly do you feel so drawn to me?" I asked. I wat he'd as her face began to turn red. She was already embarrassed and the night had just begun.

"well... I'm not sure actually... I'm sorry, sir."

"You can drop the 'sir'. Just call me Levi already." I wasn't sure why her calling me 'sir' stung so much but it did.

"Ok, Levi."

"Are you still afraid of me, [name]?" I asked, hoping the answer was no.

"Of course not! Was that even a necessary question? Come on, Levi." She replied, shock evident on her face.

"Well, you seem almost afraid to talk to me so I thought it was a good question." I said.

"I'm not afraid of you. I'm just incredibly awkward about this sort of thing. I'm actually starting to wonder if I should leave before things get too weird between us..."

"If I thought this would change our relations, I wouldn't have allowed it. Quit worrying and enjoy your little dream come true." I replied.

"Well... Ok then... Since you seem to be incredibly fine with it, I will." She said as a grin broke out. She took another sip of her tea before looking directly at me.

"all right, Levi. Why did you actually agree to this? Be honest with me." She asked.

"Well, truth is, I'm not quite sure what drove me to accept this. I mean it feels weird to let a stranger sleep in my bed with me but at the same time, it feels ok." I replied with honesty. I watched her to see what she would do next. I decided to take another drink of my tea.

"Do you want to learn how I drink tea this way for real this time?" I asked her in an attempt to get rid of some of the tension that was building. 

"Sure." She replied with a smile.

"All right. So first, grab the cup by the rim with your fingertips. It's all in the wrist when you do go to drink. You have to make sure that when you do go to drink  you leave enough room for your nose so it doesn't get in the way. After that it's really just a matter of wrist movement." I explained. I then demonstrated. I knew she would fail at it, so I had a towel ready to clean up.

sure enough, she spilled tea on her chin. Without thinking, I reached over and wipped the tea off for her. She blushed furiously and returned her attention to her tea immediately. The two of us stayed put while we finished our tea. We stayed silent for the remainder of the time. It didn't take all that long though.

I took both of our cups and washed them up.

"what next?" I asked her.

"I'm not sure... Part of me says we should get some sleep but the other part of me just wants to sit next to you and listen to you tell me random things about yourself or a story of some sort." She responded.

I walked out to the main area of my place with her following me. I sat on the couch and let her sit next to me. She was still incredibly awkward about it so I wrapped my arm around her and made her lean against me.

"So you want a story?" She mumbled to confirm that I was right. "I'm not sure I know any stories. But I will do my best. Once, there was a strange stone. No one ever looked twice at the sad little stone, thinking, it's just a stone. It doesn't have emotions.

"The stone sat and watched many of its prettier pebble friends as they were taken from it. The stone was so sad from repeatedly lossing it's friends. The stone gave up on any hopes of becoming special to anyone until one day, a girl came along. She picked up the stone. The stone was smooth from all of the weather it had endured during its lonely life. The girl took the rock with her and carried it with her everywhere.

"She loved the stone. But one day, she lost the stone at the park. Devastated, she began to comb the park for her beloved stone. She refused to stop even when her mother told her to leave it. Her mother began to try to replace the stone. The girl refused every replacement. She returned to the park everyday for a full week. On a Sunday, she broke down and began to cry at the waters edge because she couldn't find her beloved stone.

"A stranger approached to make sure the girl was ok. The girl managed to tell the stranger what was wrong and the stranger reached into his pocket. He pulled out a stone. The stone was super smooth and the most beautiful shade of grey. The girl stared at the stone. Her eyes began to brighten in happiness. The stone he was holding was her beloved rock. The stranger handed the girl the rock. The stranger stood up to leave but was stopped by the girl. The girl thanked the man. The man didn't accept her thanks. Instead he commented on the girls kindness towards the lonely stone. Confused, the girl asked what the stranger meant.

"The stranger smiled and pointed to the stone. 'Its happy to be with you too' he said. The stranger then left. The girl was so happy to have her stone back that she never let it leave her sight again. She probably still has her rock to this day..."

"That was an amazing story... What are the chances that you will be my stone?" She asked.

"You're finally starting to get brave here." I replied with a slight chuckle. "It's only for tonight, my little brat."

"Of course... I know that..." She said. I could hear disappointment in her voice but I knew that I couldn't become her boyfriend. She was so adorable with her disappointed pouting.

"Well, should we get some rest?" I asked her.

"Ok..." She said with a pout. 

I stood up and loosened my 3DMG belts as I walked toward the door leading to my bed. Upon entering, I realized that I wasn't ready for bed myself yet.

"Make yourself comfortable. I need to go take a shower myself." I said as I awkwardly left the room once again.

It felt like the quickest shower I had ever taken. I had been smart enough to grab a fresh pair of boxers before I left my room and quickly slipped them on. My hair was still damp, but it would have to do. 

I walked in the room and watched for her reaction. She began blushing almost as soon as she saw me. I ran a hand through my hair as I got into the bed with her. 

"Remember, I'm allowing you to live your little fantasy for one night. You should probably take advantage of it. But hey, if you want to sit on the edge of the bed all night, be my guest." I said.

She rolled over and looked at me with a confused expression. Eventually, she became brave and inched closer to me.

"Tch. Come here already, chicken shit." I wrapped my arm around her and chuckled when she squealed in surprise.

"Levi?" She asked.

"what do you want now?" I replied.

"Do you think that I could be on your squad instead of the command squad?"

"What an interesting question to ask now, of all times." I responded. I ruffled her hair absentmindedly. "I don't think that would be a good idea. You would be far too distracted by me to function and then we would need to drag your corpse back as well. I would love to avoid unnecessary death as much as possible."

She cuddled into my side mumbling something unintelligible. "Goodnight then, Levi." She said as she closed her eyes and sighed one last time before her breathing became level and I was certain she was asleep...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter didn't come out quite like I would have wanted... I'm sorry if it's lacking but regardless, leave a comment telling me what you thought.


	10. Chapter 10

You were on the wall. You peered over the edge. Titans were staring up at you with their disgusting deformed faces. They were clawing at the wall and trying to reach for you. You looked around to get your bearings. Behind you was Trost which meant you were currently directly above the recently plugged hole. A canon to the left of you went off and startled you. You stumbled a little and were nearly falling off the wall. You flailed your arms, hoping to avoid falling. 

You fell. It felt like you were falling in slow motion.

You closed your eyes momentarily and took a deep breath. Now that you had calmed down, you shot the wires of your 3DMG and pulled yourself against the wall. You dangled on the wall for a small amount of time before scaling the wall once again. Erwin was waiting at the top for you.

"[name], what are you doing here? 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to change point of view. Still readers pov, just first person instead. Basically, instead of using the word "You" I'm going to start to use "I". First person is much easier to do. Also I kept slipping up during the last few chapters and wanting to write "I" instead so I figure, why not!

The dream took hold harshly. I knew it was a dream this time though. I'm not sure why I was able to tell. I'm not really sure what's different now. Unless it's Levi? Did he somehow influence my dreams again? Is he the reason I can tell its a dream this time?

Anyways, this time I'm in Karanese district. The place where the survey corps are set to leave the wall from.

I feel a slight breeze on my face as I turn to look at the large gate down the street from where I am. They're opening the gate.

When they get the gate open halfway, I hear a few soldiers begin to panic. 

"Close the gate!" One yells. Terror is laced in the mans voice. "No one is leaving out that gate today! Hurry before it gets in!"

From his panicked tone, I can tell that the 'it' he is reffering to is a titan. I don't know what drives me closer to the gate, but I go anyways.

"What are you doing, [name]?" I hear someone ask in a whispered voice.

"I don't know. Following my curiosity, I suppose." I whisper back. I don't know who I'm even whispering to.

I get quite close to the gate. Close enough to know that it's too late for them to close the gate. The titan is getting in.

My eyes widen as the realization hits me. I break into a full sprint away from the doomed gate. I'm just reaching a military supply cart when the most horrific sound of stone being smashed. I don't look back at the wall yet. I find some working gear and get to a rooftop as fast as I can.

Once I am safely on the roof, I finally turn back to the wrecked gate.

Wait a second... It looks like the armored titan that broke through wall Maria. And why does the armored Titan look so familiar? Like I've seen it somewhere recently... But if the armored Titan is the one who broke through the wall, there's no hope. The citizens will need to evacuate.

I need to wake up. I really don't want to watch this turn out. I've seen it before.

and my brother... I wonder where he is... I haven't seen him since Shiganshina... Actually, I can barely remember him... Which is extremely odd. I wonder if that could be important.

Come on! Wake up!

Finally I give up on trying to will myself awake. I take my newly acquired 3DMG and scramble to the wall. In order to avoid watching all of the death in Karanese, I have to wake up. And in order for me to wake up, I have to die in the dream. I look down at the abyss that always sits at the base of the walls in my dreams.

I take a deep breath, steadying my nerves for what's to come. It's always so excruciating to die in these dreams...

I lean forward. I close my eyes as I feel myself tipping and stumbling off the wall. The pain will come very shortly. I open my eyes just in time to see the titan's teeth flash past. It closes its jaw around my legs.

the fire searing through my limbs is excruciating, as expected.

When will I die this time? 

I flop into the Titans stomach. I remember something Hanji told me about titan physical structure. They don't have stomach acid because they don't eat for sustenance.

Then what am I swimming in?

I almost hurl as the idea clicks into place.

I am swimming in human blood. My severed limbs are bathing in putrid, and probably diseased, human blood. Thank god it's a dream. Who knows what diseases or infection I could get from this.

I need to focus! How can I make myself die faster? I'm getting really sick of the excruciating pain emanating from my leg stumps.

I focus on my surroundings. "Damn it's hot in here." I mutter. "Too bad it isn't got enough to boil me to death..."

Finally, I get fed up with everything and cross over to the wall of the titan's stomach and sit. I don't know how long it could take so I begin to take mental notes of my surroundings.

Hanji would actually love this.

I wonder which class of Titan I'm even inside... Either way, the stomach is so weird. It has a very flat bottom. This bottom makes absolutely no sense. Why would it be so flat? If I look up, I can make out the esophagus. It's so incredibly simplistic. It seems so out of place in a predator body...

I poke the stomach lining to see what might happen. The titan seems to take it as a hint that it's prey is still alive and somehow triggers it's gag reflex to spew me out again.

I can just make out the wall. We appear to still be outside of it.

The Titan picks my disgusting form by the leg. It looks at me before deciding to sever my head with it's teeth.

lights out.

 

I don't have a clue what time it is. I can see that the sun is just starting to rise. It's most certainly too early to go bug Erwin. I Think the best option to kill a bit of time would probably be making tea.

I should probably study my map too...

I grab my map off my desk as I leave. I only have to check it twice to find my way to the mess hall this time.

The first thing I do upon entry is search for a kettle to boil my water in. I find the battered kettle and a chipped teacup to put my tea in when I'm finished. I'm surprised to find a chipped cup here. I would've thought Levi would've dealt with I by now.

I busy myself with finding some leaves for my tea. To say that I was concentrated would have been an understatement. I was so busy with preparing my drink that I didn't notice Hanji's slumped form until long after I had finished with my tea.

"H-Hanji?!" I said with a bit of a startled jump.

"What?" She asked. It was muffled by her arm, which her face was currently resting in.

"Uh... Would you like some tea?" I asked. I was slightly dumbfounded by her presence here at this ungodly hour.

"Sure." She responded. I found a cup for her and filled it with the same strong black tea I was drinking. She muttered a thanks to me when I set it down in front of her.

We sat in silence for quite a while until Hanji decided to take a sip of her tea. 

"WHOA! This is strong!" She suddenly shouted, causing me to jump and spill a small amount of the boiling liquid on my skin. "Just as strong as when Levi makes it, actually. I didn't think anyone else actually enjoyed it that strong."

"I don't really know how I should respond to that..." I replied with a shrug.

Hanji laughed. "Oh, I don't expect a response. Just let my comment steep like the tea."

"You're a little weird..."

Hanji shrugged. "It's better than being a boring rule-following drone. I take it as a compliment."

I sipped at my tea while we stared at each other. I thought about what she said. Not the whole steeping like tea thing, but about being weird.

"Um, Hanji?" I finally asked.

"Yes?" She said, putting her steaming cup back down and focusing her attention on me solely.

"Well... I'd like your scientific opinion on something." I said. I was already beginning to regret it when I saw her eyes brighten up and the mad smile crept across her face.

"oh do tell." she said. Her excitement was showing clearly.

"You're so excited and you don't even know what I'm about to say." I reply. 

"[name]... Don't make me wait forever." She pouted. 

"Oh, calm down. I'm getting to it." I proceeded to explain all about my dreams in detail to Hanji. She surprised me by allowing me to finish before interupting.

Unfortunately, telling her was a mistake. I ended up listening to her theories and repeating the facts until well after the trainees had eaten and left for their day of training.

Finally, Erwin came to my rescue.

"[name]! Where have you been? You were supposed to be in my office going over things for the mission hours ago."

"Sorry, sir... I was just.. Discussing some stuff with Hanji. I guess we lost track of time. It won't happen again." I said. I stood up immediately and looked back at Hanji.

"She's a real interesting one, Erwin! You've got a good eye." Hanji said.

"Don't make it sound so dirty, Hanji." Erwin warned. "Besides, we have much more important things to worry about in this day and age."

"Oh, Erwin... You're no fun." Hanji whined. She stood up and stretched out. "Anyways, you guys are supposed to be discussing important things. So go on! Get!" She slapped Erwin's ass to get him moving before doing the same to me to make me follow.

"Geez!" I shouted in protest at her hitting me.

Erwin chuckled. "That's Hanji for you. She's really good at what she does though."

"So you probably understand now what kept me from coming?" I say with a quizzical expression.

Erwin chuckles again. "Yes I saw how she was talking your ear off. What did you say to get her going like that?"

"I told her about my dreams."

"They must be some kind of interesting dreams to get Hanji going like that."

I sighed. I decided to finally tell Erwin everything. Well, except for the embarrassing bits with Levi. Those can remain between us for now. Once I had begun to tell him everything, he took a different turn down one of the hallways away from his office.

Most likely to walk and talk.

 

We ended up in the castle courtyard by the time I finished telling him everything.

"Well." He said. He paused for quite a long time before continuing. "I can see why you would be hesitant to speak up. It's quite difficult to wrap my mind around."

"I feel like I'm not off the hook yet..." I reply.

He chuckles. "Good intuition. You most certainly are not. The part about Levi's squad. You said it couldn't be changed. What makes you think that?"

"I'm not sure... It's one of those things where it feels like no matter what you try, it's going to happen. Almost feels like if you try to prevent it, you will just make sure it happens." I say.

"Very well then... It's very disheartening to hear that... I was really hoping it would be avoidable..." Erwin looked up at the sky. "Does Levi know?"

"Yes."

"How did he take it?"

"I'm not entirely sure... He didn't like it... He even yelled at me because of his denial... But I honestly have no idea when it comes to him."

"Honestly, you can't blame him for his reaction. I'm sure you would've done the same."

"Well, of course. And I'm not mad at him for it at all. It would be pointless to hold a grudge anyway. Not to mention awkward since we have to work together so much."

"you're really mature. I'm glad to have you in the scouts. And I'm really looking forward to seeing how you handle the field work. You're dismissed for now. I'll find you if I need to speak with you again." Erwin finished by saying before going back into the castle and leaving me alone again.

 

Now that everyone who was important knew about my dreams, the following weeks passed in a hurry. My graphic dream about Karanese being breached was just another useless nightmare. The week right before the expidition was when something worthwhile finally happened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's probably clear that I have more experience with writing in the first person... Second person point of view just feels so foreign to me xD  
> Also, I'm sorry if this chapter feels really short. Much more worthwhile reading should be on the way in time for next weeks release though so please be patient! Also, please leave me a comment telling me what you thought!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying an interesting concept here so I hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> Now go ahead and read it up!

I woke up one morning, less than happy. I was just in an awful mood. I didn't have patience for anything. Someone knocked on my door. I got up and opened the door.

"What." I said without checking who it even was.

"Well I just thought you might like to know that you're late for the final planning meeting and Commander Eyebrows is pissed about it. No need to be so bitchy about it, princess" Levi responded.

"Shit. It's you. Sorry, Levi. Didn't mean to sound so bitchy." I replied hoping to make me stupid mistake a little better.

"Sure you didn't. Just get your ass in gear."

"Well, I have to get dressed so..."

"So get dressed then. Hurry up."

"Um... Are you planning on watching or..?"

"Oh for the love of-" he grumbled while pinching the bridge of his nose. "Hurry up, [name]. We're late enough. We don't have time for this shit."

"I'm sorry but you can't watch me change. That's out of my comfort level."

"A few weeks ago you wouldn't have minded." He said with a smirk.

"How about you don't go there?" I snapped back.

"Well someone's feisty this morning. Fine. How about I stare at this gorgeous wall while you change then?" He said while motioning to the wall.

"alright... I suppose that would be fine." I twirled my finger after saying that to say that he needed to turn around now. "And no peeking."

"You make it sound like I lust after you or something." He said with a slight chuckle as he turned around.

I changed quickly into my uniform and tossed the old clothes onto the bed for later. "Alright, shorty. Let's go."

"that was quick."

"It doesn't take THAT long to get dressed, Levi." I replied as I locked the door after we stepped into the hall.

"good because we're already incredibly late. Now come on. We have to hurry." He said as he took the lead.

"Why do you keep saying that we are late? Haven't you been to the meeting yet?"

"I had to find your sorry hide before the meeting. It took a long time to find your sorry ass. So no. I haven't even seen Eyebrows yet today."

"I don't imagine we have time for me to grab something to eat..." I said as my stomach growled silently.

"We might as well. We're already late. What exactly do you want?"

"Just whatever breakfast rations that are still available will be fine... I don't really care what I eat as long as it's food."

"There's still a bit of water in the kettle and a small bun over here." Levi said after looking around the mess hall a bit.

"Is the water still warm at least?"

"yes it is. You want a bit of tea then?"

"Please. And toss that bun to me. I'll eat it right now to save some time." I say. "Are you helping me because of how late we are?"

"Why else would I be?" He replied as he poured the water into a cup.

"I don't know. To be honest, I'm surpriesed you're still hanging out with me. I did snap at you this morning..."

Levi handed me the lightly steaming cup. "Drink it quickly. Maybe they decided to actually talk about the important stuff today."

I finished the bun and drank my tea as quickly as I dared and cleaned the cup. "Alright, shorty. Let's get to that stupid meeting."

 

"So we will eventually have to make it to the titan forest." Erwin said, finishing his explanation of the full plan. "We can't plan for everything. I'd like to think this plan is our best bet though."

"What do we do if the plan fails? For example, what if it pans out just like my dream?" I say.

"It won't be like your dream." Levi snaps.

"Levi, I understand why you would be so adamant that I'm wrong, but we have to discuss the possibility." I respond.

"Tch. The Whole idea is dumb. As if the team filled with elites and myself, not to mention our titan shifter, would fall. It's illogical."

"Alright you two. I see what you both are saying. We probably should consider the possibility of failure. If we do end up failing, we will regroup outside the forest and collect any bodies that we may have to. After that, we should head back to Karanese." Erwin said while looking between the two of us.

"Hanji, you haven't said much this meeting. Are you just going to stare at me the whole time?" I ask Hanji.

"I have no concerns regarding the mission. What happens, happens. I'm much more interested in you. Are you in pain?" Hanji replied.

"What do you ask?" I say in response.

"It's very subtle. You are trying to hide it. But I see it. You have cramps." Hanji states.

"Do you need to be dismissed?" Erwin asks, clearly concerned for my health.

"I'm fine, sir." I say. "Really, I'm not in much pain at all."

"You won't miss anything if I do dismiss you right now. We're already finished covering the important things." Erwin said.

"I can manage." I say, unsure of why they were making it out to be a big deal.

"Alright... Then where were we?" Erwin said, getting back on track.

"We were discussing the plan for if things went wrong. You said we were to return to Karanese." I say.

"Oh well then we are actually finished here. That's it. Unless any of you have any concerns you'd like to bring up?"

"None from me." I say.

"No one?" Erwin looks around to see. Neither Levi or Hanji speak up. "Very well then. Meeting adjourned."

As I stand, I feel my gut wrench in pain. I try to get away without anyone noticing, but I'm almost certain I winced in pain at it.

Sure enough, when Hanji, Levi, and I get out in the hallway the two of them speak up.

"Are you constipated?" Levi asks.

"Wow. How eloquent..." I reply with a roll of my eyes. "No, Levi, I'm not constipated. If you like, I can let you know when I take my next shit too."

"These cramps are most likely from something else. Right?" Hanji says.

"Yes, Hanji. How perceptive of you."

"When's it set to start?" Hanji asks.

"I'm not sure that's any of your business." I snap.

"The bitching has already begun, I see. You have stuff for it right?" Hanji says.

Grabbing the bridge of my nose, I respond, "you aren't going to leave me alone until I tell you all about it are you?"

"Nope!" Hanji replies with a grin.

"Are either of you ever planning on letting me in to whatever shitfest this is?" Levi snaps.

"I'd rather not." I say.

"Why not?" Hanji asks.

"Because I said so. Now if you don't mind, I've got a bed to lay in." I say as I walk down the hall past them and towards my room. 

"We aren't done here yet, [name]!" Hanji shouts after me.

"Whatever!" I call back.

 

I hear the tiniest of foot scuffs behind me and stop in my tracks immediately. 

"You don't have to take up the entire hall, you know." Levi says as he slows to a stop behind me.

"Shit. Sorry..." I apologize before stepping to the side to let him pass.

He passes by but doesn't continue down the hall. Instead, he turns to face me again and lean against the wall. "What's going on, [name]?" He asks.

"Nothing is going on, Levi. Don't worry about it."

"Does it have something to do with breakfast this morning?"

"Oh no. Definitely not."

"Well then, what's going on?" He asks for a second time.

I sigh and lean on the wall as well. "If you really must know, let's go somewhere less public. I'd rather not let everyone know what's up."

"Alright then. Why don't we head out to the forest clearing?" Levi suggests

"The clearing? That's a strange place to go just to find out what's up."

"Fine then. What do you suggest?"

"No one should be in the mess hall at this time of day. We could just go there." I suggest.

"Fine by me." He says as he takes the lead to the mess hall.

When we get to the mess hall, he takes a seat in his usual spot at his usual table. I can't help but chuckle at the thought of him being a creature of habit.

I take my recently made usual spot across from him and take a deep breath. I honestly would rather not discuss what I'm about to with him. Him especially. Hell, I'd rather tell Erwin or Eren and even Jean.

"Well?" He says when I don't say anything.

"I'm not really sure why you are so adamant to know, but I suppose I don't have much choice now that you've decided that you want to know." He sits still waiting for me to go on. "It's not really even that big of a deal. It happens every month."

I'm sure Levi has guessed what I could possibly be talking about by now. His face is unreadable though so I can't be sure.

"Well... Perhaps it really isn't that important." He finally says.

I sigh in relief at being spared the difficulty of actually saying it. "Well, I'm sure you have better things to be doing right now than dealing with my shit."

"Probably would seem that way to you. It's been damn near a month since you joined the Scouts. I would think you would know better than to make wild assumptions about your superiors." 

He looks quite out of place without some sort of paper in his hands or a cup of tea...

Clearing my throat, I stand up. "Want some tea?"

"Why not."

"Are you ever going to tell me why you were so determined to find out what was wrong?" I ask him as I put the kettle on to boil our water.

"I'm allowed to be concerned about my coworkers. A better question is why you didn't just tell the truth when Commander Eyebrows was asking."

"In case you didn't know, not everyone can talk freely about their bodily functions." I say as I grab cups from the cupboard.

"It's really a shame they can't. Also, I find it somewhat troubling to know that I don't know what you're thinking right now." He states.

"Why would you care about my thoughts? Haven't we established that they're just silly and useless to look into?"

"How about we drop the shit for a bit and get serious." Levi says as I finish making the tea and return to the table. "Facts are, you're either dealing with PMS or already menstrating. How do you plan on handling work in the command squad with that going on?"

I blushed at Levi's bluntness. "Well you weren't kidding about getting serious... You don't have to be so forward about these things, you know."

"You haven't answered my question yet."

"I won't have any problems on the mission regardless of my woman issue. Just worry about yourself, ok? Besides, if I were to die on the mission, the scouts could easily continue without me. No need to overthink it that much."

"Are you saying that you're willing to give up because you feel that the scouts don't value you as much as me or any of the other higher ranking soldiers?" He asks.

"I don't really know what I'm saying anymore..." I take a sip of my tea, ignoring the PMS cramps for the moment. "I suppose what I'm saying is, if I die, don't let anyone be held back by it. After all, no one knows what the outcome of our choices will be, right?"

"Don't be stupid. You aren't allowed to talk like you aren't important."

I had been staring into my tea while I told Levi what was truly on my mind. It felt weird hearing such caring words come from Levi as a response though. I looked up from my cup to see him staring at me with an expression that could only be described as mixture of sadness and anger.

"Alright then, Levi. Who am I important to?" I said. I had decided to push him and see what happened.

"Damn it's hard to follow your mental process... You're seriously difficult."

"That's not an answer."

"Sure it is. It's me telling you to calm your mood swings and use you tiny little brain for something useful." Levi said.

"Ouch. That's kind of harsh." I say. As I say it, I feel my gut twist up in that oh-so-lovely way. It's times like this that I'm jealous of men...

Levi smirks. "I said that out loud, didn't I?" I say.

"You did." He says. "But I don't mind. Go ahead and complain all you want."

I suspiciously eye Levi. "You're acting really strange... Is it because you don't know how to handle this?"

"Not quite. But good guess."

"Ugh. You men are so lucky. I mean honestly... Do you have any idea how disgusting this process even is? Not to mention the fucking hormone imbalance it causes. But really. Why is bleeding for about five solid days even a thing? It's gross." I say, taking Levi's offer.

"Ok, I get it. It's not fun. But at least it means you're healthy."

"You have a point..." I say. "But in all honesty, I actually am worried about how it's going to affect the mission. Like, we have white pants for our uniforms. White!"

Levi laughed at that. "I'm sure a little blood isn't going to be a big deal. After all, you probably won't be the only one bleeding..."

We both say in silence for awhile as what Levi had just said hung in the air. "I'm sorry... Here in being really selfish and stupid but you're right... People are going to die..."

"Let's hope their deaths aren't in vain..." Levi muttered under his breath.

"Levi?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid out there. Don't lose your head no matter what, ok?" 

"I won't be stupid. In case you forgot, I'm actually pretty level-headed in these situations." Levi replies.

"Good..." We sit in silence for the remainder of our tea break. Eventually I finish mine and I decide to leave for awhile for some fresh air.

"I'll see you later, Corporal. I need some fresh air." I say after I clean my cup.

"It's been quite some time since you used my title last." He replies to me as I leave. I'm not sure what he means by it, but I continue without asking anyways...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took an interesting turn towards the end. Overall, I actually love how this chapter turned out.
> 
> Please don't hesitate to leave a comment telling me what you thought either! :)


	13. Chapter 13

"[name]!" Calls Hanji's familiar voice. "I told you we weren't done here. Get your butt over here!"

I sauntered over, letting out the greatest of groans. "What do you want, Hanji?"

"I already told you what I want. Come on." She says as she grabs my wrist and pulls me into what I would assume is her either office of lab... I honestly can't tell the difference with her.

"Alright, Hanji. You have my full attention and cooperation. What is it? And give me a real answer this time." I say as I lean against a wall nearby.

"I'm curious about you." She says with a downright terrifying gleam in her eye.

"W-what exactly do you mean by curious?" I say as I inch away from Hanji.

"What's up with you and Levi?" She asked, inching closer to my retreating figure.

"What do you mean? There's nothing 'up' with us at all." I snap a little as I say it, probably impacting the effect of my words.

"Mhm... I'm sure... By the way, do you remember back when you first came to HQ when you spent the night with Corporal Short-Ass?"

"W-what?" I stutter in shock. I honestly had no clue she even knew that happened.

"I saw you two head out in the middle of the night back then... So you must be lying somewhere about the two of you."

"Hanji, I didn't even spend the full night with him because he made me so nervous." I say with an exasperated sigh. "Also, since you seem to be fixated on learning my secrets, I do have a mild crush on the hard-ass. Now if that's all, I'd live to go to my room and wallow in this state of self pity that comes with womanhood." I push my way past Hanji in complete and utter annoyance.

"Hormones are a bitch!" Hanji said with a laugh, finally allowing me to leave. 

 

Once I had finally gotten to my room, I flopped, face first, onto my bed while clutching my abdomen. I mumbled into my bed for what felt like an hour before finally turning over to look at my ceiling instead. I tilted my head over to look at the calendar I had on my wall to see how Miami days there really where left until our expidition. 6 more days until we leave the safety of the walls...

"How about I get my shit together by then." I mutter to myself.

I sit in silence, thinking about the day's events, and Levi, for a while longer before Hanji's statement returned to my mind.

"Hormones are a bitch... Yeah they really are, aren't they." I say to myself as I feel an overwhelming Rush of sadness and lust towards my crush. "Fuck... I want to lick him..." I say. I am shocked by the strange thought but not entirely against it.

I hop off my bed and go in search of the short man with te sexy undercut. I start to wander through the halls, both aimlessly and with purpose.

I start by checking the mess hall to see if he is still there where I left him. 

"Not here..." I mutter.

I continue on to the stables to see if his horse is still there. Of course when I get there, it is.

Next I wander by Erwin's office to see if maybe they're having a meeting. Erwin appears to be reading some sort of report with his office door open and Levi is nowhere to be seen in there either. 

I contemplate heading down to the dungeon to see if maybe he's checking on Eren before finally giving in and heading down to check for real.

"Shit." I mutter as I grab a lantern. I had forgotten how dark the staircase really was.

Eventually I do make it to te bottom. I push open the door without listening first and stumble inside. 

"Hi, [name]! What's up?" Eren asks from inside his cell.

"Hey, Eren! I'm looking for the corporal. Have you seen him recently?" I ask, feeling mildly guilty that I hadn't actually come down for him at all.

"I'm afraid I haven't. The only one I've seen lately is Hanji and her assistant Moblit." Eren answers.

"Damn... There's only one place I haven't checked yet... I was hoping that I wouldn't have to check there..." I mutter to myself, momentarily forgetting the titan shifter.

"So how's it going on the Levi front anyway?" Eren asks.

"It really isn't going anywhere." I say with a sigh. "Maybe it's better that way though. Neither of us really needs that distraction on missions out in titan territory anyways."

"Are you heading off to that last place now?" Eren asks. "Because if you are, could you tell Hanji that she forgot to let me out? I would ask you to but you probably don't know where the key even is..."

"Of course I'll let her know... It must really suck being stuck in that cage..." I respond.

"It's not that bad. I'm not in here as much as you think. I'm actually supposed to be freed permanently after today's test."

"That's great! I will definitely track down Hanji for you. Take care!" I say to him.

"Thanks! And good luck with your Levi search, [name]!" Eren replies as I step out into the dark stairway.

Eventually, I come to the conclusion tht Levi most certainly is in his room. I start walking towards his room but chicken out almost immediately and head up some stairs to get to the roof of HQ instead.

I lay down on my back and gaze up at the stars, connecting various shapes in the sky...

 

"Shit." I mutter. "I fucking fell asleep."

I'm not on the roof anymore but I know for certain I'm in a dream so that explains it all.

Immediately, I begin to check my surroundings to try and get a grip of where I am this time and if I can maybe learn something useful from this dream. 

"Hey, brat! What do you think you're doing?" Calls a very familiar voice.

Finally seeing where I am, I gasp and stumble backwards. "I-I'm sorry Corporal. I-I don't know what I'm actually doing..." I look anywhere but at Levi. 

Why am I dreaming this?!

"Tch. I'm not really sure how you got in here but you might as well pass me my towel while you're here." Levi says.

"S-sure!" I stutter as I pass him a plush towel resting on a bench nearby.

These dreams are getting out of hand already... And I'm going to have to tell Levi about this as a part of our deal... Oh, sweet Sheena... I'm so screwed...

"U-um... Maybe I should leave..." I say as I try to find the door.

"Do what you want." Levi says calmly.

How is he so cool at a time like this?!

Oh, right. Dream. Fuck.

Wake. Up. Now.

"U-um, corporal?" I hear myself ask.

What was that about? Am I seriously losing control over my own dream?

"What?" Levi responds. He has now wrapped the towel I had handed him around his waist.

"Well... Um..." 

"Spit it out already, brat." Levi commands.

"N-never mind!"

What was I going to ask? I don't even know myself... But since I seem to have his attention...

"Well actually... Could you kill me please?"

Smooth.

"E-excuse me?" Levi asks with surprise.

Dear gods. He stuttered. How adorable.

"Stab me or strangle me or something. This is too embarrassing and it's time to wake up."

"You think you're dreaming?" He asks.

"What other explanation is there?" I say. I'm finally getting my control back. That's very good.

"I'm not following. You stumbled in here and think you're dreaming and so you've decided to kill yourself in order to wake up. But how can you be sure it's actually a dream?" 

"Well, for starters, I was just on the roof not in here. Second, I lost control for a little while. Third, I really doubt I would be bold enough to burst into a shower room." I explain. I hope he helps me escape my dream.

"I can't help you."

"What?"

"Even in a dream. How could I murder someone close to me?" Levi says.

I laugh. "See, now I definitely know this is a dream. The real Levi would never say that..."

"Well, if I'm your dream, why don't you enjoy it for awhile?" Levi says.

"Because this is too wierd. Also, it's not real. What's the point in some stupid romance if it disappears when I wake up? Just kill the dream me so I can wake up... Please."

The look on dream Levi's face is so incredibly conflicted. He seems to be fighting with himself about whether or not to do it. Finally he sighs. "Alright... Let's find something to impale you with..."

"Thank you, Levi."

"Don't ever thank me for something like this. Not even in a dream." Levi says. He picks up a price of broken mirror and takes a deep breath. "Are you sure?"

"Yes" I say before closing my eyes and waiting for the excruciating pain.

Levi hesitates but eventually he manages to drive the shard through my heart. The fire rips through me. I know it's not real but it still hurts.

 

Gasping, I bolt upright. I had been right. I'm still on the roof where I was before the dream. The dreams are getting out of hand though. I wonder if maybe talking to Levi about them truly would help...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I'm so sorry for the long hiatus for those of you who are following this fic. I ran out of inspiration for awhile there but finally found a bit. I'm sorry if this chapter is sub-par. It was written over 2 weeks and I'm not sure if it is actually any good. Please don't hesitate to tell me what you actually thought of it regardless. No seriously. I want feedback. It actually keeps me motivated to actually keep writing this thing.


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